accent of love

2009-02-19T21:46:00.000+08:00

SHIFTED.

2008-10-27T01:00:00.000+08:00

SHIFTED

ASK WHERE.

Cohorts.

2008-10-26T14:19:00.002+08:00

So, rumour has it that alot of sec 3s are retaining in my school. Did i mention this yet? Not sure, no harm mentioning it again.
Quite ridiculous though, cause i stumbled upon a few blogs and read their tagboards and some retainees had friends telling them it's okay we'll still be friends forever what's not and study hard and be the smartest next year and all those really out of point unrealistic remarks that are unnecessary. Nigel said that we should tell them "Study harder please i don't want to be your senior next year" . Yes, pretty bitchy but i think it's true, is it not? Let them face reality flat in their face. They can live as a testimony to others. How bout "Study hard kids i've stared humiliation in the face before and it's not good " or something along those lines, instead of clinging onto the hope that it's not your fault that you're retaining. Cheh, wild kids, should have seen it coming eh? Then again it isn't really their fault that they don't know what's good for them cause they can't think, they dont have the brains to tell them what's right and what's not. Their like little wannabe clones of.. I don't know.. People who are, so called Big Shot or whatever? I don't know, i personally think that their quite harmless but they appear to be mean . Well, alot of the juniors won't stoop so low, retainees, i hope you don't feel intimidated when you're trying to outsmart everyone around you and intimidate others instead.

Synthesis.

2008-10-25T01:03:00.002+08:00

Hello. Surprisingly, i actually enjoy life better when i date exams. Their very fun, certainly stressful and enduring, but, it gives me something to do. To mug that is. It gives me a reason to talk to my friends as well. And a very good reason to speak to my friends in chinese. Can use the excuse "Practicing for Oral mah" instead of the actual fact that i should say "SHOWING OFF MY CHINESE SKILLS MAH". So, other than pointless rants, today's going to update you guys about my life. It's filled with nothing more but the smell of stale fish. Ah, thy air is thick. So what's the deal? But then again, i'm actually quite keen on evolving into a nerd. Since, i'm like.. A natural nerd already so why not? Seriously, i'm not mocking the geek society, i really want my entire secondary (pun!) identity to be known as a geek. Not kidding. I figured, keeping low profiled in school would be the best. Really, i mean, sec school life man, who needs friends then? They come and go like sneezes do. Take my class for an example, it's only two years and we're all going to split because we're not as smart as each other. So, i hereby pronounce that school is sadistic. Oh, the exam period allows me to study for the sake of studying, and i do not have to conjure reasons to study. Yes, that is solely my purpose of studying. Okay not exactly. Number 1 is glorifying God's name. Number 2. its time consuming. Anyway, why is Shakespeare the art of literature?? Why? Is he that good? Isn't he a perverted old man that dreams of nothing other than sex everyday? If not what. If i'm not wrong, all those books that lit kids read in secondary school is just the non rated parts. So dare i say whatever we read is like 1/1000 of the actual story? Even my lit teacher says that Shakespeare is sick in the brain too. So it isn't only me, and others must agree if they read his books. The uncut ones. The ones that are as thick as a tree bark. If i become a Lit teacher, i will conspire with other good evil lit teachers , ahah oxymoron, and make sure lit is based on some other stories that isn't written by Shakespeare. He is dead who cares! Lets do, Titanic. It would be cool man. Or Harry Potter. Why not? Must go by the trend man. I don't understand why people like to increase the difficulty level of everything, where everything has to sound cheem and outstanding. Why so? Learning is suppose to be fun, how is referring every word you read in a novel to a dictionary their idea of fun ? That is downright torture! The hair, the tights, LEAVE THAT TO THE CAVEMANS TO STUDY. Shouldn't we be advancing ?! Then why are we still studying THOU ART THY FI FIE FO FUM! So, "if i use old english in my compo, i will score veli veli high la! " What nonsense! Man.
So silly how things work in synchronization. Doesn't anyone outside dare to take that step of faith anymore? What, is the word exploring non existent anymore! DON'T YOU EVER STUMBLE UPON THAT WORD WHEN YOU SPEND SEVERAL MONTHS OF YOUR LIFE SEARCHING STUPID WORDS IN THE DICTIONARY YOU'VE NEVER CAME ACROSS?! jeez. It's like a cycle. I SAY, WE STOP IT ALL. We shall stop making our life a boring cycle before our younger ones think its domestically right to do so. But then again, Shakespeare talks alot about love, so i think i can interpret easier if they ask me "How do you think shakespeare felt about his life when he wrote stories of romance and such?" and i would answer, Shakespeare was probably dumped. So he killed alot of characters in Romeo and Juliet after they had a very nice 3-5 days of romancing. Ok, i should stop indirectly slandering the dead. This is bad. Sheesh. I hope Shakespeare does not have grand kids whom are alive. That'll be dreadful.
Aiya, you know what i should do, i should work as a secretary, start a corporate affair with my Boss, screw up the company and leave as a form of protest to poor lit kids who won't be able to take lit next year because it somehow turns out to be their fault that others are unable to take lit and that there is a shortage of teachers.

Ah liannxxx

2008-10-24T23:57:00.003+08:00

Defiance is a new trend.
Just LiKe BeiNgx ahh LianRxs iSh dE nuuu BwacksZ Worxx

Missed.

2008-10-23T22:04:00.005+08:00

I'm probably going to hate next year. Most likely.

Shadowed frustration

2008-10-22T22:33:00.004+08:00

I feel like suffocating myself in a pillow right now, and scream my lungs off. Literally. I cannot wait for school to be over. What kinda shit is this? Exams are over, and you don't even have lessons to pay attention to and all you do is read or sleep in class, so why can't we all bring board games or PSPs to school to play? Board games like chess and Deal or No deal are a hell lotta fun and they do not contribute to the noise pollution, oh pfft, so what if there is a certain level of noise? If you high ranked unreasonable paranoid HODs/Discipline Masters want to work in a school, then expect it. We are kids, don't tell me you guys just sit down in school and share nothing with no one except the skin you have on your body with your table and your big fat butt on your seat? Is that what school is about? Board games allow us to rack our brains and the teachers are not even conducting lessons. Even most of the teachers are fine with our own objects of entertainment, so why can't the big shot guys be too?! So what, you would rather the entire school just pon school literally is it? I still don't get what's the big deal. And, it's not even mentioned in the School Diary that board games are not allowed. Hello?! What is wrong with you people? Their board games. Or rather, BORED GAMES, and chess? Zomg, how do you make noise with chess? I feel like wringing your neck Mr Goh, and i don't care if i get caught, because i will still point these facts out to you. It's not like we have anything to study or focus on at all.
No wonder, No wonder our school standards are so low, because you guys cannot take constructive criticism. Want to know why no one wants to fill in the suggestion box? What for? If you guys don't even know how to accept our comments and remarks , what makes you think that giving the school suggestions would be worth our time anymore?
If you don't want to hear our explanations and judge each and everyone of us, not as an individual, but as a useless bunch of ROTTEN APPLES that has no future, then why bother teaching us?

Sheesh, meanwhile, my captain told me that during the holidays, the team would have lots and lots of training, which kinda sucks. Cause i'd probably be drained out. Well, the trainings better be in the morning, if not, it'll take up all my afternoon time and i can forget about wasting my life away. Tomorrow better be good. &, i won't care, i'll play chinese chess IN FRONT OF YOU TO SEE. Pajiao freak.

Signing Off.
A very angry Bella then.

You're so bogus.

2008-10-21T23:17:00.004+08:00

This is crap. This is one of the late night frettings, where you start getting annoyed with practically everyone you know, and start answering your own rhetorical questions. I want to go to Australia, right now, just for tonight. Or Hawaii, so i can start a campfire by the sandy beaches, and sit alone, think. Enjoy the night breeze, create ripples in the sea, throw stones so far, you can't even hear the sounds they create when their toss carelessly into the blue world of magic.
Doesn't anybody get sick of the comforting tones people use on you when you're down? That's why i like the sea better. Because it couldn't care less, all it does, is create live in the deep blue ocean beneath, where enchantment/imagination of your own begins. Those that your mind starts to create after a long rustic decade of boredom in your head, when it finally tells you to ignore the painful facts of reality, and to let magic sink into you. Personally i don't think not being kids anymore is in our nature to not acknowledge the fact that we're still not too old for magic. It's whether we even give ourselves the time to explain, to ourselves, to have a silent debate between your heart and mind, if you should face certain things or not. Because, we've stopped believing in chances, cause if we didn't, we would have given ourselves a chance long time ago. So if we don't believe in miracles and things that are said to be hallucinations , then we would, confirm that we, would already be living in a world of paranoia. Where you think every statement that has no scientific value, deserves to be countered, in every way possible.
So, before drifting away, i know, that i am, actually anticipating the day , where i would be allowed to come loose, to go wild, and fly. Where no one, would be breathing down my neck every now and then, commanding me, where societies and schools, and dare i say politics, would not have a grip on me.
Okay, all i wanted to do, was place my emphasis on the faint idea that i had , few mins ago, that started feeding on my inner self, and my conscience, and grew into a monstrous disaster, that , i actually want to be free.

Place your stakes

2008-10-21T15:34:00.002+08:00

So instead of running around chasing, i've decided. I'll sit and watch, you, run around.
Watch me.

):

2008-10-20T14:37:00.003+08:00

Okay, so i woke up at 1.57pm in the afternoon, trying to make this day okay, but NO, things became disastrous. Mummy called, after my rise and shine, and said to go down and pick up grocery in TWO MINS, NEVERMIND, it was a lie! Outrageous i tell you! I'm bearing that in mind, that when mummy says 2 mins, it's equivelant to 22 mins of boredom! I swear! Okay, so when i went down, turns out the grocery wasn't lot, exactly, kinda little, NO IDEA WHY I WAS EVEN NEEDED THERE. Cheh.
Okay next, mummy told me that we won't be going to the States this year due to the financial crisis and prices are soaring and stuff, GOSH, that could really add to the bad 22 MINS SHIT ALREADY, On top of that, she said i looked funny in glasses! Bella can always look nerdy alright? So anyway, i had this strong urging to slap her and kick her in the groin simultaneously, but then i realised that it's not her fault, it's america's, so i felt like kicking america in the statue of liberty, but then irealised it's not their fault either, ITS THE MONEY'S FAULT, so heck, i decided to give the matter a rest and PUT ON THE WIDEST BEAM I COULD EVER GIVE for three more painful mins of sadness.
Okay, so maybe my mood was lightened when she also mentioned that we could travel around asia, etc, macau, hongkong taiwan bangkok or around australia, i'm not really keen on asia cause , i don't know, i don't speak thai or chinese? But then again, i don't speak aussie. Lol okay just kidding, i was thinking either we go to the coastal areas of australia or the farm stays there, both sounds fine, can't wait to get my hands on roxys and volcoms and what's not, but the damn thing is that i've been to melbourne and brisbane already, and going there again would be, a waste of good ole cash, so how? SEE ANOTHER THING TO FRET ABOUT OTHER THAN THINKING OF WHAT TO DO TILL MY SISTER'S O'S ARE OVER.
Next, i haven't eaten lunch yet and two pieces of digestive biscuits is probably not going to last me long! See? So maybe having three days left for school is bad! Cause you have too much TIME. too much freaking time. And time wastes money! And no, i didn't mean to say too much freaking money, AHH TIME IS NOT MONEY LA. You get my point. Grh. And now, i'm going to stare at photos and wish that those memories could once again, come to life, ONCE AGAIN, hahaha IT CAME TO LIFE ONCE, in my dreams. No kidding, or maybe i should sleep it all off, again, so that , i could die in my dreams or something. I DONT KNOW. Im going to find stuff to do now, like, drinking water. BYE

My heart will go on.

2008-10-19T17:29:00.003+08:00

Just finished watching titanic. Which has, and always been, oh, and still will, be my favourite movie forever. If i was rose, i wouldn't have regretted boarding the titanic. Now my heart aches too for the people who died. I guess, yeah, maybe i'm like rose. Screaming at the top of my lungs in a crowded room, waiting for someone to look up, but no one does. Except Jack.
I wanna go on a secret rendezvous too. I really do. Something i've learnt from a show. A woman's heart, is an ocean of secrets. Bear that in mind.
Love, yours truly.
Isabella.

2008-10-18T22:37:00.002+08:00

I wouldn't have done this, again, but since i've nothing better to blog about, must as well do it. John tagged me. (But it's cheating cause you cant have Claudia & Bella ON NUMBER 8, THATS TWO, and we're two not one. )

game rule :
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. (heh heh, let's play a game. guess how many questions i changed, and tag it on my tagboard!)

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
Like a fat peacock running around in circles. (Like my sister, who runs like a turkey also can)

2.What would you never ever give up?
I would never give up my ten toes, cause if i do, i can't balance properly then i'll fall and break a few more teeth.

3.What do you want the most now?
A pet monkey.

4. What would you do with a billion bucks?
Buy a pet monkey.
4.What hero do you want to be?
Farter Girl!

5. Isn't Joash Chong just handsome?
If he buys a face, yes.=X

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
How bout, having someone to love?

7.Can you whistle?
yes.
7.Can you burp on purpose?
YES. HAHAHAH CAN YOU?!

8. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
Yes, there is. But you didn't ask what so HAHAHA.

9.Do you like chocolate?
Depends on what kind.
9.How many times do you bathe?
2 TIMES A DAY . HAHA see this joash? I BATHE EVERYDAY.

10. Would you trade your most beloved object for a guy?
Is it possible to trade my sister?

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
I did this before. I'd be 24 years old. Ehm, eating dinner at 8 pm

12. Who are currently most important to you?
Im not answering this question because it's very cheesy. And creamy, and YIKES.

13. Have you ORD-ed?
Whats ORD?? HUH?! ordered? HUH.

14. What do you want to do after you ORD?
SHUT UP . IF YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME WHAT IS ORD, THEN STOP ASKING ME ABOUT ORD. ONE MORE TIME AHH I'M WARNING YOU..

15. What's the first thing you do after you wake up?
Open my eyes.

16. What does your favourite kind of shampoo smell like?
People actually have favourite kinda shampoo smells? Insane. Uhm. Like my hair.

17. How would you rate the perfection of your life?
You can't rate perfection.

18. What type of people do you like?
People who have big nostrils. Probably nose like snouts. Uhm, 14 fingers, two mouths, one ear, and five eyes. The people i mingle with luh to summarise.

19. What do you want the most in the whole wide world?
To be the wind .
19.What's your favourite cartoon character?
Peter Griffin.

20. Did you see someone you know at the swimming pool today?
What swimming pool?
20.Have you bathed yet ?
NO NOT YET YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME.

Tag them!!

aiya , you wan do you do loh.

What i want

2008-10-16T23:51:00.002+08:00

Here i am, hiding again behind this stupid screen, why? To avoid what? I have seriously no idea. But here's what i do know. I know that what i want, is never really going to happen to me. What i want, is to feel.. Important, not in any negative sense.. To know that someone's always there to stand up for me, in the bad times, someone who would be there, not just for some time.. But for the rest of my life. Something long term perhaps. But few would understand. Because they think this is who i am. I'm not able to unleash myself yet, because maybe, i'm too afraid of the fact that maybe no one would accept it, so why am i like that you ask? Well ask the others, i think they know the answer.
So right now, i find the truth extremely hard to grasp, because maybe all along i've been feeding myself lies. Doing so until i don't even know what's there for me to believe, and what's not. So maybe i'm emotionally unstable during this period of time, but is that the true explanation on why i'm acting this way? Doesn't anybody even bother to find out? Or is this happening to them too? Maybe this world is too much for me to take. Maybe i'm weak and feeble on the inside, and no one seems to notice? I feel a thousand hearts breaking inside of me, and i don't even know the disaster that caused it. If knowing that i wouldn't last long in time to come, then wouldn't it defeat the purpose of trying to pretend and trying to hide away from that clearly vicious world? So now, i'm beginning to think if all this is worth it. Being like a candle that is, burning myself out to give people joy. Unless that is, i don't bring happiness to others. Then, that's my bad. I hope i burn out quickly, because, i'm not even sure if i'm able to take the heat.
Somehow, i still believe, that there's a love that could fall down like rain. Let me continue believing this is true, won't you?

What we need?

2008-10-16T14:20:00.001+08:00

Hello. I'm officially 14 now. And i still don't really know what i'm searching for in life. Haha. Thanks to those wishes and presents. And thanks mummy, i love your present the most. Thanksyooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxzzz muchhhh.
<3

Cause i can make things happen.

2008-10-14T15:37:00.004+08:00

Gone are the days where i could just sit on swings and compete with others on who can go the fastest. Gone are the days where the word stress cannot be found in my dictionary. Now, everyone's growing with time. And, time waits for no one. I've learnt a few things over the years, and i definitely need to learn how to apply those onto my life. So, there's really no use pretending to move on, so why not, move on in reality? That would be the best won't it?
Okay, i just watched Gossip girl, i liked today's episode. It's really sweet. Yeah well, things don't always go the sweet way does it? I didn't really do very well for chinese. A pass, yes, but wasn't what i really expected. Well, whose that cracker who said that life's full of surprises? Results would be blogged when i get all of them back, depends, if my results are worth mentioning that is. But wait, everything that God's done for me is worth mentioning, so i guess, it'll be shown soon.
Have you ever felt like killing someone, be it in a good or bad way, when you try to make things obvious to them, but it just doesn't seem to get through their thick skull into their brains? Ever waited for the news to something or someone, only to realise that the news wasn't exactly worth dying for, and would be better kept to themselves? But then again, things always happen when we least expect it, and whenever we don't want the answers to be the obvious and outstanding one, it always, somehow, some way or another, finds it's way to outshine the rest. Make sure everyone knows about it. Truth coming to light, you know what i mean?
Meanwhile, dreams have been invading my mind. Really random wants. All of the same one person. Scary. Sure. But well, their nice. But random. Really random.

Walking like a one man army.

2008-10-12T18:53:00.004+08:00

I hate blogger, my post i just blogged 4 mins ago is gone. Why? Because when i made one small correction, somehow the last three paragraphs got deleted. It's not my fault! Really! Anyway, enough bout blogger. He was right, today wasn't going to be a bad day. All decided by the ending of a James Bond movie. Pure coincidence.
Anyway, i just watched "The Bucket List". Good movie. I give it 5 out of 5. I reckon you too should watch it. I didn't expect myself to cry, but the ending was touching and good. Their both so cute too. I <3 old people. They even sang "The lion sleeps tonight" when they were trying to hunt animals. It's my all time favourite baby song, i always hear it.I like it alot too. So much character in that song. It's like walking down memory lane when i hear it. hah. I'm still in the hunt for another nursery song, but in slow motion called "Soldier soldier won't you marry me" . It's very nice. Speaking of songs, i didn't know John mayer did the song "Say". I heard it when the credits were out for the movie, and i liked it, so i did some research and found out it was by John Mayer. If i'm not wrong, he did it for the movie, cause this MV featured the bucket list. Well, most scense anyway. Oh yeah, Vanessa & I gave Joash his present already. I was so excited i was literally anticipating his reaction. I was simply, half expecting him to cry. Joash you failed me! But being all army dude and all, he needs to be strong. Oh darn. But anyway, Happy 20th Ashyo. Okay, my schools ending on the 23rd October, need to start preparing for the next year. NOT. I think i'll most probably be rotting at home watching neverending korean dramas and shows that stimulates my mind. Do not get the wrong idea. I will so slap you up down left right. Okay, let's not drift, this post was suppose to be meant for "The bucket list" . I wanna be like them, create a bucket list, so i need to marry someone who has enough money to take me for a spin around the world. Any takers? I need to spend that time with a companion as well, and find the joy in my life. Give joy to others. I want to try the world's most expensive coffee in the world. Kopi Luwak. Watch the show, you'll get it. I Wiki-ed it even, and whatever stated in the show is true! Interesting or what? I like carter, in the show, that's his cast name, i think he's very wise, i wouldn't mind him being my grand dad. I would be a black then! But that's what i always want! To be a black, yay, killing two birds with one stone. Sa--weett. Now, i'm off to watching Snow Buddies. I won't think it's touching, but then again, what would i know?
Take out all your so called problems, better put them in quotation.

Bull's eye.

2008-10-11T20:59:00.003+08:00

-Vanessa and I nearly burned down the house.
-I have a fetish for malay guys <3
-I dislike how everyone's born in october.

=)

2008-10-10T11:52:00.003+08:00

Going out with my sister later. She has O lvls, she's retarded. Whatever, she owes me anyway.

PS:Anon, F*** you.

2008-10-08T23:43:00.005+08:00

Koped it from John's blog. I like this picture. Everybody looks so merry.
[Edit//]

So anyway, i was lying in bed five minutes ago, trying to coax myself to sleep, but my mind seemed to have a mind of it's own. (Gosh, what irony) It didn't allow me to. So i started thinking bout how i take stuff for granted and everything. I am one sucky niece. You know, never in my life did i remember my Aunties birthdays. Ok, neither did all of them, but two of them, Aunty Jane and Aunty Sally never fails to remember them. I don't know why, they just do. Never ever fail. Since i was young, and i guess, i've been taking both of them for granted. Know how i always call people an Ass? Well it just struck me, from nowhere. I'm the ass. And now, it hurts, cause i was so oblivious to both of them. Their unconditional love. Me and my sister don't even know when their birthday is. Yes. I know, we suck hard core. Tell me about it. So bella, if you're reading this ten years down the road, do remember, not to think things for granted. See how much your family loves you, & stop whining and complaining that your life is unfortunate. Open your eyes to see the good happening around you. Cause only then, you'd be contented. Oh well, i thank God that i realised this soon enough, there's still a room for improvement, to not be so self centred and think that everything is about me. Instead, i should learn to look out for others for a change. Aunty sally texted me today asking me out for lunch, and i stupidly asked her why she was so random. She didn't say anything but i figured out it was because my birthday was coming up. How can i be so stupid? I think i've hurt her, thinking that she won't remember my birthday. I still remember how when we used to stay at her crib, would she give each of us a glass box filled with dollar coins and 50 cent coins which would all amount to 55-75 bucks. No joke. She told us not to squander it but to spend it wisely, but no, obviously, i didn't listen. In a week the money was gone. Some niece huh. Her sons are old. 23 and 28. They probably have their own life, and i guess she misses her kids and everything. Oh how could i be so stupid. Why didn't i see this before? And during church camp, i was such an ass. I got angry with her for NO REASON. She was so hurt that she actually asked my sister why i was angry with her? I'm like some dumbassshithead loser who thinks so highly of myself. I'm sorry aunty, i guess, i never really realised the meaning of family. Last year mummy wished me happy birthday on the 16th October instead of the 15th because she said that she thought the 15th was the 14th, and the 16th was the 15th, and Aunty Sally wished me and gave me an ang pao. Whatever, i'm going lunch with her this monday , and i'm not going to be an asshole anymore. I'll make darn sure that monday would be the best day we both had spent together.
But i will change. Cause i've learned, and realised, and boom. It struck me then, when there was no one for me, you were there.
So, i still love you Aunts.
With love, your ungrateful niece,
bella.

& i think to myself, what a wonderful world.

2008-10-08T11:21:00.003+08:00

Hello all. I was searching for happy birthday songs on youtube, then i stumbled upon this guy called David Choi. He played what a wonderful world, and i was immediately mesmerized. So, i went to Imeem to see if i could get the acoustic version of what a wonderful world, but surprisingly, he posted the acoustic cover. It's so nice! Don't just shut it off when you're at my blog. Go hear (: I think he's got a brilliant voice as well.
So anyway, EXAMS ARE FREAKING FINALLY OVER. Though oral's not yet, but you can't study for oral so heck anyway. Okay, i am going to continue searching for david choi's song covers. Their awesome stuff .
You know you love me,
Bells.
Ps: My boyfriend must play me this song. This way.

What A Wonderful World - Acoustic Cover - David Choi

2008-10-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

Just got my mood killed. Some night. Last paper tomorrow. All the best bells.
Trying my hardest to cheer up.

Who is afraid of the dark?

2008-10-07T12:01:00.003+08:00

Screw. Someone out there, take me out to NIGHT SAFARI! So exciting! I have no idea why i'm trying to help promote night safari, but whatever. It's worth the talk. Their having Halloween Horrors from 10 October to 1st November, though they have specific dates on when their having their having their ghostly creatures coming out.
I was reading their advertisement, and i was like " I WANNA GO!" Though it's $50 per entry. I can't say if it's worth it cause i've not been there myself but yikes!! I so wanna go. First up, there would be Eternal torture, where you travel through the eerie prison and witness of people who betray the animal conservation code. Next up they have Train of terror, all aboard a train ride riddled with twist, turns and unexpected guests! Shit so fun! Can scream my lungs out. Cause people on the tram won't only be having close encounters with the animals but also others that inhabits the night >;) There is also underworld unleash where there's Dracula, Jiang Shi the chinese vampire, and vengeful malay ghosts. Gosh, so freaking fun.
There is a bridge of hell at forest Giant trail, where same like the underworld unleash, you won't know whose lurking beneath those bridges! Oh, the fun one is the Haunted Wall where you capture your fear on film. It says not to be surprised if you see ghostly images in our snapshots. Their just friends who don't wanna be left out. ZOMG. Can you say FUN? WAAAH MUMMY BRING ME NOW!
Meanwhile, i bought Kiwi chocolates and Tostitos to keep me company for the day, where fats would start to take it's massive shape on me and keeps stress at bay. Last paper bells. Endure (: Then some kind SOUL would take me to visit Jiang Shi and his friends. MUAHAHAHHA

2008-10-06T14:16:00.004+08:00

Ahh. Finally. A step closer to freedom. In two days time, hell would be over. Time to pump the remaining days in this year up.
Cannot wait for Halloween (: Can you? >;) Oh, Happy 21st John.

PS: Last night was a blast. Kudos to Yimin the Organiser. (Though the surprise failed tragically)

Hugs and Misses.

2008-10-05T15:51:00.004+08:00

Okay, i know, this year is coming to an end. In a blink of an eye, everything would be over. Yes, it's not like we're graduating, not like we'd never see each other again but knowing that we won't be in the same class anymore could already kill. Gosh, i'll miss them alot. Although yes studies are important and we're suppose to follow our heart and get into the Subject Combi we want and everything, but i wouldn't know what's going to happen after our class disperse. Sigh, readers, you won't know how it feels like unless you're from my class. We're just very united luh. That's all i can say. And thus, i shall write my Junior Will.
MY JUNIOR WILL

To Chloe,two last crashes at your house.
To Yuling,a life time supply of laughter.
To Limyang,green tea.
To Blandina, one last bitching session
To Connie,five more jokes.
To Jaypriyah,one last hug.
To Joachim,a pair of michael jackson shoes.
To Daniel,five hair slopes.
To Marcus, the ocean filled with water since i drank yours up.
To Cherie,a dead fish.
To Kenglin, 50 Jelly beans.

Blending in.

2008-10-04T15:38:00.001+08:00

I love this korean drama. <33333
I think Jae Hee is tons more handsome than Hyun Bin. Lets compare.
This is Hyun bin.

This is Jae hee.

Damn, their both as handsome. Screw i'm marrying a korean guy.

Why do i have a feeling that the best is not enough? Hard work does not pay off. I'm probably going to flunk my math and science. Maybe chinese. Wish me all the best, world.

2008-10-02T22:07:00.003+08:00

I love my sister. She is smart. I wish i could be as smart and as hardworking as her. And not like some nobody who does nothing right and causes trouble all the time. No i'm not feeling inferior. It's just that the feeling of letting them down, if i don't do well for eoys would be excruciatingly painful to watch. If i don't do well, i really would cry, because this time, like mid years, i did put in hardwork. I did give my best. I did try. I hope all's well would end well. Grant me the grades i deserve God. Please. Help me do something right this time. Allow me to prove them wrong as well, because i know, that unlike their kids, and under your guidance and blessing, i still have a bright future ahead.
With love,
your daughter, bella.

You'd be surprised.

2008-10-01T23:25:00.003+08:00

I cannot believe myself. Despite being in the midst of my examinations, i'm reducing my time for sleeping to blog. But oh well, it's worthwhile to me.
So anyway, after tuition, i went to raffles city ? I think, yeah, the City hall thingy places, Raffles something, where they sell donut factory and where Swissotel is there to ate Northern Indian fine dining cuisine. I must say, the food there wasn't bad. I especially fed on the Nan, i liked the buttered Nan and the Cheese Nan, it's like Prata, but ton's better. Like the Rich indians eat Nan kinda thing? Yeah and gosh, the rich indians are really freaking rich. The Indian guys looked fine and everything with their hot designer blazers on and everything and i must say i was quite amused by their manners and everything. And surprisingly, they were all freaking good looking and they don't have the dot on their forehead!! Lol, but yeah, their rich. And really really good looking. Come on their northern Indians, what do you expect? Because i kept observing the way the Rich indians dining at my right, they were all darn good looking. The girls were beautiful. Screw, Indians always have sharp features. Like their super long llama eyelashes, and super sharp noses. Grh!
Yeah, sister bought another nine west bag, can just slap her. She keeps buying bags and using them one time and then chuck them away and forget all about their existence. Peabrain. Heck, once she's done with it, i'll probably kope it, or after the bag is seasoned, she'd probably, as usual let me use it since i always lend her my bags. I should start charging her. No wait, that won't do, cause then it'd work vice versa, i won't wanna pay for using her bags. Bought donuts from donut factory, it's crazy, when we went there, there was like, 2 people queuing only. So dumb, it used to line up all the way till by 9pm, all productions of donuts would stop, and everything would all be out of stock. Oh how sad.Anyway, yes, Mummy gave me and sissy each a budget of not going beyond 80 bucks for a Campo Marzio Design pen, supposedly made in Italy or something. And then, i saw this beautiful pen. Which looked freaking funky, with studded gems/stones on it, IT WAS CALLING OUT TO ME. I SWEAR IT WAS, it was saying "Bella, BUY ME!!" and cause i didn't see the price, (NOT MY FAULT THERE WAS NO PRICING FOR THAT ONE) i gleefully went to mummy to get the pen. Just when mummy said okay, it's good it's not ugly and in fact it was funky, the lady said it's 124 bucks. Bummer. I stared at the freaking pen for a good long two mins before finally allowing myself to place it back down to it's original position. The place we met. I WAS PRETTY SURE I WAS DESTINED TO BUY THAT PEN. Heck, whatever, i ended up buying me another pen within our budget, me and my sister bought the same style, leather grip, (So BYE BYE TO SWOLLEN THUMBS) just that mine's purple and her's turqoise. Bummer);
Okay, also, i could kill myself. Because the evening was wasted just like that. On dinner, pens, the dumb steve maddens blue flats and my sister's dumb bag. Grrhh, i could have studied three chapters of science. This is soo not fetch.
Forget it, i'll study like a mad chimpanzee tomorrow. Ikan Bilis. I can't wait till the exams are over.
Austa La Vista Senor.

PS: Hardwork's gotta pay off. (I hope)

Look at yourself

2008-09-28T13:19:00.004+08:00

[Edited//]
Stuff i'm going to do after EOYS :
1. Sleep late.
2.Tease timo till his exams are over too.
3.Hit the mall.
4.Movies.
5.Escape/zoo/spend quality time with them
6.Take toffee out for a walk.
7.SKIP TUITION.
8.Trick Or treating.
9.Never ending Korean drama marathons.
10.Wake up late.

Shit, i'll miss my class.

Singing is a nice form of music. But few Asians can sing. In fact, i don't think any of the Singapore idols were good stuff. Not that i'm any better, but i'm just saying. Oh, Shufen can sing, but that doesn't count. She isn't from earth. Hah.

Life's a fake.

2008-09-23T22:36:00.003+08:00

Shisha is the new black. Everyone is doing it. All the supposedly "in crowd" or "trendsetters of guangyang society" is doing it. I think it's stupid. Most of the upper secs do it in my school. They go to Haji lane to do so. Well, that's where everyone i know goes to shisha. So i'm betting it's Haji Lane that they've been swarming around for the past few weeks? Shisha is tons more harmful than a normal cigg. It contains tobacco and water. Quite stupid. Cause there is no filter, so it makes your skin sag and makes you look old and haggard. Ah screw my seniors. If they think giving their life up to shisha makes them happy. Because of this incident, i've lost respect towards all my seniors. It's stupid how easily people can succumb to peer pressure. If shisha is so in, why don't all of you buy a pipe and suck your life away at home? Huh? Or better still, you can stuck that pipe up your ass and make your shit have a taste of it. Since it's so cool and it makes you feel superior to others. I hope your face sags so bad that your eyes would be at the level of my mouth. wouldn't that be better? Make your skin sag. Your eyes sag, your boob sag or whatever part of your body that is saggable. Im so confused on why people spend their big bucks on Shisha. Spend it on me. I'm broke.

evidence.

2008-09-22T21:06:00.006+08:00

Hello. I'm very very proud of myself. I am studying . Here's proof.
]

And for you own pleasure which i realised, have been derived due to certain circumstances, here's a few pics that never seize to occur in school .

Bully me and my big sister will eat you.

I smell the scent of jealousy in the air, as you whimper and moan over the mundane lives you face in school, while i on the other hand, gets piggy backed.

Crazy russian climbers.

2008-09-21T14:40:00.002+08:00

Okay. I just wasted 8 mins of my study time watching crazy ass russian climbers climb buildings as a sport/hobby on youtube, uh i think their known as parkour or something. Crazy ass, they climbed onto train treks and stuff and they just jump jump jump *boink boink boink* to other buildings and jump down two storey high stuff their insanely crazy. And their hot. Crazy asses. I bet they'd be paid cold hard cash to be stuntsman. I can bet their better than jackie chan. But whatever. I still think youtubing michael jackson is more worth it.

Dont

2008-09-19T17:17:00.001+08:00

dont talk to me unless you can moonwalk like that.

Hawthorne Heights and phones that bites.

2008-09-16T22:44:00.006+08:00

You wanna know what i hate most ? It's how the english language can be dwindled into one single sentence. The you-did-fine sentence even though in reality, you knew you messed up big time. It's like for what? Giving others encouragement? I think it gives others a false glimmer of hope, even though they too themselves would love to believe it as well.
School was hell today. Personally, i didn't like it. But to make things better, i've never really liked all the days spent in school, so maybe that's the reason why. To top it all off, i think i screwed my maid's phone up. Probably going to get scolding from my mum tomorrow. Worst comes to worst, i'll just pay for the damage. Even though it isn't even that great. The back part of the phone cannot be fitted back in. You know i'm talking about the part where you open to take out the battery and the sim card? Yeah. That part. Heck, that is why i discreetly look down (Okay maybe not so discreetly anymore) on cheapo phones. As in not the cool ancient type of phones which are durable. I'm talking about modern cheap phones. They screw up real quickly. It's like paying 60 bucks a month for 6 months and poof, bye bye to ugly phone. But then again, maybe it's just me. Maybe i don't know how to take care of things. How to value them. How to value them like friends. My bad, i've never really learnt how to value friends. Sucks that i've always been taking things for granted. It takes time to learn though.
Great, now i'm condemned with guilt from head to toe, but then again, i don't even know how i screwed it up. I'm not trying to push the blame and blaming it on the low quality of the phone although it seems like it. Okay look at it from my point of view for a second ? If you knew you scratched a car, and you spoiled it, you at least would know why you'd be getting into deep shit. But now i have no idea if it's really me or the phone because when i opened the back cover, i managed to do it almost effortlessly. Or maybe i'm just strong? Okay , fine, no self protesting Ego now. As i was saying, now i'm being afraid of something i don't even know if i did! That sucks. It's like an innocent girl, let's take her name to be bella, a silent rebel in school who never bothers to voice out her opinions but prefers to seclude them in her thoughts, suddenly got called out by the Dm, for something she done wrong! And she doesn't know what did she even do! See? This is the terrifying ways of how guilt and remorse can mess up your life. Thanks alot phone >;( YOU PHONEY! Hah you fake.
I didn't have to tug and force the back cover to open. At least not like there was stuff of it to remember about. So i've concluded, the phone sucks. Kudos to all Army guys who uses it. Hoping to see them die in 7 months. Exams are in 12 days time. Actually, it's quite weird this year on how i've awaken from my mid day dreamings so early. I normally realise this known fact three days before the examinations finally began. Gosh, if this is part of growing up, being stress all the time and worrying over dumb paper qualifications, then i wanna say that this isn't a fair trade! Oh and if getting penalised for trying to help fix a dumbass phone, then i'd say i'd rather be a baby. Cause babies, with good intentions, but normally ending up screwing stuff, would not be blamed. Sigh. How did my parents make it out of what seems like eternal hell? Okay, wrong, i should rephrase that since i've never really been into hell before. But i can't picture a worser case scenario of what teenage lives is already about. Don't blame me, i'm just an amateur.
If i were to make a new blog, i wouldn't make the url sound like "chunkthejunk". What the heck was i thinking when i first created this blog? It's mildly entertaining. It's not even catchy. It's just two words that rhymes. So mundane,consistent. I mean come on, even the geeks in hwa chong could come out with a band name called "i killed a snail on wednesday" or something along those lines. Oh wait was it "i stepped on a snail on wednesday"? ah i can't remember. I'd change my blog url, if i had a choice to "thebitingtelephone" or something. Something really corny and retarded. I hope i can make friends with a stargirl. I heard their really open people. With speech and everything.
Anyway, Joel is a living proof that butts do have mouths.
You didn't hear all this from me (:
xoxo, bella.

2008-09-15T22:02:00.004+08:00

I was in a cranky mood today. Appeared offline the whole day till now cause i was not in a good mood to chat. Reason being that i screwed up my Home econs Practical Exmination and i felt like dirt just now. Yeah, i know, tell me about it.
So after Math, which happened to end at 4, (Sickening i know, but it's my benefit so why not?) me and Chloe had our plans to head over to Bishan library, spend about an hour there, and then crash back to our homes to just laze in bed all day to read and await for night to arrive, but no, on the way, i was so pissed about my failure for my pract that we decided in pronto to go over to Chloe's crib to bake Cookies. Double Chocolate Chip betty crockers. Of course, once again, it failed, but not because of the paste, her oven turned on for awhile, and it suddenly turned off and couldn't be turned on anymore. She said it's because today was the first time she actually used her oven, which is quite crazy coming to think of it. If i had an oven at home, i wouldn't dump extra pots and pans and funny looking leaves in the oven. I bet i'd use it daily. To bake my sister in it or something. But anyway, that's not the point. So we ended up using the toaster to toast the cookies, and we tried several methods so drastic like frying the cookies, or suggesting to put it into the microwave oven. Come on, drastic call for drastic measures. Or something. Okay, great now i have no idea what i'm talking about. Anyway, since her house was a 4 mins walk away from homey, i headed back to my home around 530, entered the bathroom first thing straight (God was i sticky and oily, not cause of my fats, but from the dough) and after that, started mugging till i fell asleep on my homework. I suck. When i woke up, my eye started hurting. Why? Cause i had my glasses on. As in, the bone near my eye started hurting, so i took it out and lay in bed and entered la la land once again.(What can be better than sleeping a hell day away?)
Timo just introduced to me a band , called Hawthorne Heights. Good band in my opinion. Quite sad though. The story. Turns out in the year 2007, their guitarist/vocalist died of drug intoxication, on the first day of their tour in US if i'm not wrong. They were devastated. Their band name was also initially called A day in life. Which then turned to Hawthorne Heights. They wrote a song about the dead guy, and they said that their album would always have his name on it as their screamer/guitarist. They aren't getting a new screamer anymore cause they said they didn't have to. If the fans wanted screaming, they can provide it themselves. Hmm, harsh eh? But if you look at it another way, i think it's what every band should be like .

Cheerios

Viva la Vida

2008-09-14T14:30:00.002+08:00

Okay, now whenever you view my blog, you'll have Coldplay greeting you with their number one hit song "Viva la Vida". I like it. I like the cello.
I played badly. Like super screwed up yesterday. I've let people down ): Oh and my shifu too! Sorry smannx.

Isn't it?

2008-09-12T23:54:00.002+08:00

Isn't it quite scary to :
1. Know that the world is coming to an end soon, it's one min more in heaven, for the world to come to an end, and there is nothing you can do about it?
2.Have people in jungles who speak animal language and who spears anyone they recognise as food and can't understand english who don't know the gospel?
3.Realise that your friend beside you right now could die of a freak accident tomorrow and he/she isn't saved?
4.Understand the terrifying fact about time waiting for no one?
5.Be an asshole at times and look at others and say " what an asshole"?
6.Come to your senses about exams being round the corner and you've totally given up on God for help?
7.Recognise that God DIED FOR YOU?
8.Cry over the fact that despite all the points above, God is the solution?
9.Hate spending time with God and finding him over holy at times but still having him loving you back? Like taking a knife and stabbing God's heart and the next day he calls back and ask you "Hey is your fingers blistered from the stabbing?" With no sarcastic tone but with a tone so gentle and caring?

Think about it.

Zomfg.

2008-09-11T20:47:00.003+08:00

THANK YOU DARYL CHEE FOR SENDING ME THE LINK EVEN THOUGH I STILL CAN'T SIGN IN. AND THANKS BOTH YOU AND SHERWYN FOR PEI-ING ME TO THE ULU SHOP TOMORROW. And NO THANKS SHERWYN FOR YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. YOU furt.

Geography is killing me.

2008-09-10T20:10:00.002+08:00

Hello all. I have nothing to blog right now cause my head is all clustered with nothing but geographical facts and scientific facts which suck. I hate chemistry. I don't understand how anyone's favourite subject is chemistry. Dumbass exothermic and endothermic reactions. Gosh. I think i'm going to flunk my paper. Meanwhile, the picture above is the baby looney tunes whom yours truly drew (: Do not mock me, i know my drawing sucks .

This is no exception.

2008-09-09T20:12:00.003+08:00

Hello all. Another year is passing by ever so quickly within a blink of an eye. I have friends getting worried and afraid that they won't be able to get back into the same class as their best friends, and i'm no exception. I will sure miss the fun times my class shared. But now, it's time to study hard and get into our desired subject combinations. What's it going to take you, friends? Planning to study hard, and do something about it? Or cry over spilt milk? We'll see(:
Love, me.

Camera man swing the focus.

2008-09-08T22:35:00.003+08:00

Bella then, focus. Gosh i've been blogging so much lately. I need to stay focus. Put my eyes on the prize. Not like there's any prize anyway. I just, keep drifiting away. I don't even know how to set my priorities right anymore. Gosh, no, today is bad. Monday blues. Sigh. Maybe it's for the better where i won't pay attention to anyone at all but God and my studies. And family. That's all i need to worry about now right? Oh of course, my health too. Chris teo hurry come back man.

I need mother guards

2008-09-08T17:47:00.005+08:00

I'm not in a good mood now. I'm sweaty and sticky all over cause i decided i was fat and ran from my house to ang mo kio hub and back to my house again . On the way home, while i was jogging down the long long path into my flat cause my flat is the deepest one in, there was this guy on a bike in front of me. He turn around and saw me and he started to slow down. Like you know. You stop pedalling and you put your foot at a fixed position and the bike just continue's moving? Yeah. I tried to hide behind the walls and everything but no, no no, everytime i stick out my head, there he would be waiting and beckoning me to follow him. And keep giving me that look like i want him so badly. wtf la grow up la lao ah pek you're mother teabag ugly screw you la . disgusting. And he keep using his dumb head to ask me what i want. you know like you nod your head kinda thing with that farking smirk on his face. Walau. I got so scared i started walking to the mama shop 10 secs away from where i stood and i told the woman at the mama shop but that didn't really help much cause i was fumbling over my words and i couldn't speak properly. So, i got out my cell phone and phoned home and my sister answered and i asked her to send the maid down but she said she'd fetch me herself and everything and she came down and she went to anyhow walk to search for that bicycle man and he was freaking gone and i swear that was not a hallucination. he is freaking scary. This happened for the 2nd time. Same guy i'm quite sure cause the other guy who did the freaking same thing was also a guy his age on a bike but i couldn't see the face cause it was at night. I came back home and told papa and he said that the next time this happens, call him and he'll tell me what to do. he don't wanna tell me what he'd tell me to do now. Damn it. I tried taking my phone out to call the police and talk damn loudly when my sister was with me so as to inform the guy that i am not afraid to call the police. Shit man you know how freaking screwed i feel. And every morning 615 i'd be walking out from home. Fark him la. Really . Gosh man, i hate peadophiles. Mother farker ccb. Walau don't scold me ok . I'm just damn pissed now i can cut his balls off and feed it to the cows of alabama. Mother!! i need bodyguards. Quick

Mother tea bag.

2008-09-07T14:48:00.006+08:00

My previous post was very mean so i deleted it. To make up for my mean-ness, LET ME PRESENT YOU OUR ALL TIME FAVOURITE ONE OF A KIND CARE BEAR! AMIEL.

Things I HAVE TO DO.

2008-09-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

Hello. I just came back from Ice skating with mummy and her friends. I know. I'm totally screwed. While ice skating, i was thinking of what i should do during the holidays. And i figured out the few things that i MUST DO ARE :
1.Lose weight (I really need to, I'm like a fat hippo now. )
2.Choose to take up either horse back riding or ice skating (Most probably going to be both)
3.Shopping for christmas.
4.Do what girls do.
5.Learn to be a girl, dress like a girl, act like a girl. Simply not be so CHOR LORH.
6.Take up baking classes.
7.Bake.
8.Not grow fat.
9.Diet.
10.Really diet.
11.Save money.
12.Not be so vulgar and be more feminine.
13.Be myself.
14.Have fun.
15.Watch Gossip girl,Movie marathon-ing.
16.Work out.
17.Keep fit and STILL LOSE WEIGHT.

These are just the few things that i MUST DO. But i really need to lose those ginormous thighs. But i can't seem to be able to stay away from Food. But gosh i have to): Mummy help!!

I might not seem grateful, but haven't momma told ya? Don't judge a book by its cover.

2008-09-06T00:21:00.009+08:00

A very good midnight to you guys, it's always the nights that gets me thinking. I realised that.. I've got alot of people to thank. Hahha. so lets start with some people. I guess they do deserve the honour of having their names appear on my blog (: Weehhhee. In no specific order.

Mummy,Daddy and Sissy ~ For being the best family on earth. Though i often have thoughts of spontaneously bombing the entire singapore so you all get killed, thank you for being the ones who are true, and thank you for loving me (: (of course i wont)

Joanna Pong ~ For being the bestest friend i can ever ask for. For being the sexiest hot babe ever! Though you're always the shoulder i cry on and the one i rely on the most, THANKS FOR BEING THERE (: Love you lots babe(:

Timothy Tan, Joel Wong, Dawei, Benedict ~ Thanks for being the jerks in my life. Lol. No i'm so totally kidding. Thanks for being the dumbest friends on earth. No doubt, never fail to make me laugh my massive balls off. (: Wee. Study hard honies! you neeed it (: And ben, don't ever make the machine eat up your ten dollars ever again.

Zhiting~ Thanks for being the spastic-kest girl in my life. Thanks for all the dumb times we had, the fun time we shared. And the... silly time we beared. Lol? Wtf. Beared. Pace partner (: Shit man, we are going to split Cg. Heck la. We'll still stay tight won't we ? Like HELL TO THE YEAH (:

John Tan ~ Never expect your name to appear here huh? Well how fascinately humiliating for you. Lol (: Thanks for being Uncle agony. Really. Can't believe i referred to you for help though. How amazing (:
Daryl Chee, and Cheryl Hoe ~ Ho ho ho . Cheryl , thanks for always opening up your house as and when even though it's so last minute for me to bake. Thank you loads for teaching me how to knead the dough and not melt the butter and for putting really cute flown from other country chocolate chips and nuts and whats not in the cake ;D Thanks chee for being the retardest retard who taught me how to bake a cake . From scratch. With , i have no idea what recipe we used. I forgot. I think it's from your recipe book? And for allowing me to drink up the milk even though we needed it for the cake as well as SPILLING IT ON THE FLOOR AND CAUSING A BIG MESS AND BEING SUPER RETARDED IN YOUR KITCHEN AND MESSING UP YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE WITH FLOUR . And for enduring all my annoying phone calls and and and and and , FOR TAHANIN (TOLERATING) ME AND MY NONSENSE AND MY SUDDEN BURST OF OUTRAGE. Wish you both well . ( DO NOT MISINTEPRET THAT SENTENCE)
Joash, Chris,Sherwyn,GraceLoke~ A big thank you to all of you. For being like.. My mentors (: All so brotherly/fatherly/motherly/sisterly and caring (; Yay. Im so happy. Thanks for your prayers and your guidance and for growing me. I'm so glad. AND PROUD TOO (: Kuakua kua kua. My moms and dads. HAH. Take that! One of you just have to get married to graceloke... Lol. perfect ;D ;D dont kill me.
Goh Yu ling ~ Walau don't think i forgot about you okay. you Calefare. Always ha halapa-ing me. Slap you alive ah. Lol. SOrry laughin at my own inside joke with some other friends. Everytime sit beside me and fart and then announce to the whole class that your fart stinks. Walau frreaking retarded and thats why i love you(: Nice to see you going back to God(: Love love.
Chloe Keh ~ Ever sinced yvette left, you've been there for me. Despite the dumbass rumours that those nomads of a nincompoop/ninkamput created you chose to believe me about me instead of others about me. Simply love you to bits(: And tehanks for the freaking early early early birthday present. Because you love me so much (: Lol. Best friends forever (:

Thank you god for loving me creating me and making singapore such a wonderful country to live in. That i don't have to worry all day because i might get raped or that an earthquake might happen or there's a shortage of food. because i'm blissed to have an awesome father like you protecting me . Lots of love, bella (:
Others ~ Hello others whom have not been mentioned. Still, thank you . I might not remember you but i would always have you somewhere in my heart . (:

Sigh. Tragic.

2008-09-02T21:28:00.003+08:00

Hello. As you can see, im going back on my words, and i'm going to blog, not for the sake of satisfying my thirst for blogging, but as well as really hoping to knock some sense into my best friend, whom, i'm not so sure can be counted as BEST friend anymore.
Dear best friend,
We FIRST AND FOREMOST, are not blaming you, neither are we blaming the other party for both your sudden isolation/cold treatment towards us. As friends, we understand, and would love to play a part in whatever mystery you both hold so deeply. It is not about dao-ing, or about the little attention we find ourselves gaining recently from you both since you both are so lost in your own gazes but we just don't want to lose yet another two friends. You must understand that neither any of us play a part in loathing or openly showing symptoms of disgust by your open relationship that you both deny. We do not know what is going on because as friends, neither of you fill us in. We do not disagree because we have no right too but as friends, i feel that we have the right to know, if we can even expect that little information you both refuse to give due to unknown reasons. We still accept both of you as both of you and not as one yet, but i do hope that BOTH OF YOU would give us time to adjust to the new cheesy environment our ears would be filled with in weeks to come.
I hope you won't be prejudiced to me especially because of the direct request i'm asking of both of you. Do not hate me cause i am blatantly exposing you both but rather, put yourself in our shoes and see that this is not what we're used to.
Love me.

In loving memory of, me.

2008-08-31T14:09:00.004+08:00

This is probably the last time i'd be blogging till EOY's over. Guess these few days, has been nothing but having tons and tons of fun. Not forgetting the bucket full of tears me and my friends have cried. It's quite scary to know that you're growing older by the second. I know i'm in no position to comment cause i am not even fourteen yet but now, comparing this to when i was a toddler, time meant nothing to me. Now, we'd all try freaking hard to compress our time to study and have fun at the same time. Sometimes we all know that something bad's going to happen. But it's just not time for it to happen yet. Then, before you know it, time catches you off guard, and you'd be taken aback by the sudden impact it has on you. Now another year is coming to an end, the A levelers and O levelers realise it's time for them, to panic. It's inevitable. The worry and stress that starts to eat into their hearts.
Sometimes, we get so worried that we forget that others around us have feelings too. The pressurizing sensation starts saturating us and before you know it, we can't even breathe. We don't even stop and reflect on what we're doing, because we know it's the tradition, people study, grow up, earn big bucks, be cocky and look down on the nobodies in the world. Others who screwed up their lives on the other hand, think that it's the duty of the rich to help the society. Then we get all the facts about life mixed up, and before you know it, we don't even know who we truly are. So then we hide timidly and start acting like we're someone the world wants us to be, but never what WE want to be. I still wonder though, why do we let the world decide who we are? Then, our sorrows would start frequenting us, and before you know it, we'd be dead. So is this the way we're told to live our lives?
It's said, what goes around comes around. Karma, deja vu, all those supernatural things that people WANT to believe. Realise that whatever we want to believe are never the truth? Sometimes i get so annoyed about people protesting for world peace and like saying no to terrorism because no matter how much they protest, it's never going to happen. But now i know exactly why and in my heart i do keep this prayer deep down, for world peace. Even in our homes. With our friends.
Anyway, im not satisfied, never was 6 years ago. Never had been. Never would be. I guess. Because everything i love so dearly is slowly being taken away from me. I know it'd be gone. But it's fading ever so slowly that i can't feel it at all. Like the world's turning but you can't feel it. But you know it is, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So before i lose any more dear ones, i'd continue praying a prayer i've kept deep down in my heart for awhile . A prayer for the world to not stop loving.

Hmm

2008-08-29T23:50:00.004+08:00

So, i got back my report book and here's the results.

English - b3
Chinese - C5
Maths-A2
Science- A2
Geography-A1
Literature-A1
Home Econs-B3
Visual Arts- B4

There's still room for improvement Bella. So they say.

K, for kUTE.

2008-08-28T19:56:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISSY POOOO-ER.

Why the heck is today called Thirstday? It should be called Assday. For real, today was horrible. The sec ones in my school are so used to back stabbing each other that it has become a habit for them. Hello bo bo, chickshot, grow friggin up.
Anyway, tomorrow is teacher's day and school's out at 11.30A.M till the week after the next due to study september week. It should also be called Stupid september. I just got back an hour ago, kuakua, and i didn't even bathe because i was super exhausted and my feet's aching. Heck, I'll go bathe in a while, pack bag and anticipate fried day, the day where everyone's brains get fried. Well, not exactly la. I can refer to tomorrow as fruitful friday cause i have a facial appt tmr, BYE BYE BALACK HEADS. Hello forehead.(Joel wong you'd be alone now) Okay, i seriously need a muggin partner, someone to motivate me and to stick with me during the week to ~~chill~~ mug at starbucks and start soaking up the ambience there...
There is aces day tomorrow man Yarks KAH PARKS, i am going to be so turned off cause i hate aces day where you do nonsensical high fives to air and expect yourself to lose weight or keep fit or whatever ace you get out of doing it. Okay, i'm just being spoilt, but i think that other than cleaning the classrooms and watching the performance, everything else is so unnecessary. Poo, and Chloe told me that our class would have a sports leader tomorrow. Some guy. I just blanked out on his name. Sec 4 one. sharks. Okay nevermind. I don't understand why we need sports leaders to do aces day la, like wtf, we can count the beats ourselves mieannnszsxcsx. Oh and the sec four sports leaders should like step down? Why? Cause their o lvls is in like 4 weeks? 5 weeks? i'm not sure, but it's totally crazy for them to be bearing the responsibility of having to bear the burden of being in charge of us LOWER SECONDARY KIDS who needs the upper sec kids to feed us our recess.. Dots..
Chris is leaving tomorrow as well for three whole weeks. Aww.. what am i gonna do without him? (Note the sarcasm)No la, MY CGL LEH. sure miss one. Haix, I'm like a loser acting as if i'd nvr see him again. YOU WISH CHRIS TEO. Okay, im damn smelly now. Want to smell? No right? Okay i go bathe.

Can't wait for tomorrow, NOT.
Ps: I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have. For you, i will..

Commercial.

2008-08-26T16:17:00.001+08:00

A banned Levi's commercial. Trust me. Freaking funny.

Vantrelequist.

2008-08-25T17:26:00.003+08:00

Oleh. Haven't been blogging much these days. Just been blogging short numbered posts cause i wasn't really in the mood to do anything, not even blogging. I know. I'm weird. But well, jeff dunham cheered me up, with his muppet monkey, PEANUT. Jeff is forking awesome, he can think of jokes like so mega fast. Guaranteed to put a smile across any of the emo freaks face. Go youtube to check it out. I lazy to put the emb here.

Alamak, i am going to have Home Econs practi-FREAKIN-cal and i don't know what to cook. I need some dish that is for kids, and has a high in calcium content. Heck, i guess i'll go to the library and search for the dishes next week. AND NEXT WEEK IS SEPTEMBER HOLIDAY. The only holiday that i freaking hate cause that holiday is meant for everyone to stay home and study. Not go out and party. Which i used to last year that's why i totally screwed up last years EOYs and i'm not allowing history to repeat itself. (And it's one week of not seeing you during interchange of classes) So, i would be mugging my balls off till Eoys begin. I cannot wait for CCA stand down i don't know why my school has CCAs anyway since we sark in most of the sports and we won't be able to win anything so the school should just convert EVERYONE TO JOIN SCOUTS AND BUILD CAMPFIRES AND LEARN HOW TO TIE KNOTS and catch insects or be librarians and teach us messy kids how to pack, that way, all of us won't be disgracing the school since the school is afraid of their "reputation" getting thrashed. I am rather insulting, but i'm quite sure i'm naming the facts.
Anyway, i don't know what's making me look forward to go to school these days. Like me and the school are one or some rubbish signature crap those oldies who love ancient english love to quote to make their speech sound chim, so i'm just following suit. Anyway, so to update you guys, we celebrated our mum's birthday together with her boyfriend, Uncle Kev, at a french restaurant somewhere in Holland Village. It was situated along this path with other restaurants like italian or mexican alongside. We dined at Bistro Petit Salut. The food was ammmaaazzinnngg. Eh, she said that she wanted to go to the main branch called Au petit Salut but unfortunately, it was fully booked. Oh well, i enjoyed my main dish, sirloin steak, i wanted to try the onglet but i decided not to. Well sirloin steak is the safest what. So anyway, we had side dishes like escargos and freaking grade 3 oyster which tasted like heaven and for dessert with had the cake baked with sweat and blood by cheryl my sister and i, with the help of stirring the mixture from a few guys. Bravo to everyone, the cake was a success and it tasted AWE-FRIGGIN-SOME! It was love. Okay, since my oven in the house broke down, i think i know what i'm going to get for my birthday and that would be an oven(: Ta ta ta!!! Then i can keep baking and keep growing fatter and fatter and one day, the world would sink because of ME ;D Okay, back to bistro petit salut, at first, the ambience was like perfect for some dinner date with like your guy/girl on valentine's day, but as the rain gradually begin to stop, more people came and in like 7 -10 mins the whole restaurant was packed. I must say i don't really like being in a packed restaurant. BUT EVERYTHING WAS STILL GOOD. Especially the escargos. Oh i love their bread. I don't know man. I know that's the weirdest thing to like but come on, i like carbo, their nice and filling so wee me.
Speaking of food, i'm feeling a little famished. I'll go dig the fridge. Cya.

2008-08-23T23:02:00.003+08:00

Can't you see through me? I thought you knew me long enough to know that i was putting on a front.

Ps: i <3 you

2008-08-23T12:08:00.001+08:00

Watch it . Freaking funny. Its the spoof of miley cyrus 7 things. Rock on

FAKE LYRICS OF MILEY CYRUS
Its time for me to say this,
addressing all you guys.
except for all the drag queens
who deserve a noble prize,
but the straight guys,
they don't realize
what we go through
and it's alot.
Now it's time for all us females
to remind you just in case
you all forgot
the 7 things guys don't have to do!
SHAVE LIES,
GIVE BIRTH
AUNT'S FLOW
WEAR SKIRTS
WAX ARMPITS HEY IT HURTS!!
WEAR PANTY HOSE
AND PAINT YOUR TOES
TOO!!

HIGH HEELS
PLUCK BROWS
SKIP MEALS
COUNT POUNDS
SOME GIRLS HAVE TO CARRY HEAVY MOUNDS
WE'RE WAY PAST SEVEN NOW
BUT I'LL KEEP GOING ANYHOW
UNCOMFY THONGS
TIGHT BRAS
TAMPONS
BLOW OUR MONEY ON BEAUTY SALONS
FLAT IRON BURNS,
AND HEALTH CONCERN
FROM HAIR DYE FUMES
AND THE REASON WHY WE DO THESE CRAZY THINGS THAT WE DO?
WE DO IT FOR YOU.

Spam.

2008-08-23T01:59:00.004+08:00

my friend is a loser. a whimp. a suck up. a fried twinkie .but she said she didn do it .
oh screw her las. WOLS

Rather down

2008-08-21T18:49:00.004+08:00

I don't know alot of things about myself. What i do know that is i have an ocean of grief waiting to gush out of me. Maybe i'm being too demanding. I don't know, as a daughter, a sister, a best friend, a friend and a classmate. But i just don't get it. Why is everything being slowly taken away from me? Yes, friends especially. Maybe, just maybe, i'm not cut out to have any friends. I still don't understand what wrong i did to most of the ones who are gone. Actually, it's nothing. But yeah well, they've got to move on. Well, of all people the people i bear a grudge against.
My mind's telling me to do something, but my heart says otherwise. I've been following my heart for too long. Trying, my very damn best to please and entertain all my friends. Now i'm just down, and all i get in return is getting ditched. Perhaps, i appear rather strong in the eyes of others, someone tough enough to stand all storms that come by my way. But even the strongest tower wouldn't be able to stand a million storms. Even the o-zone layer starts depleting. Or rather, as a matter of fact, i was too complacent. Too comfortable to notice the havoc that was created around me. I was blinded big time by this thing called trust. What exactly is it? I'm quite sure it doesn't mean being taken for granted. I'm quite sure it doesn't mean getting blowed off or ditch for a few others. Readers of this post are probably going to say that Bella is just going through another of her usual emo phases, but i'm not being emo. I'm just growing up. Taking a step closer to reality. To what the world is really like. To the pain that people would have to endure whether they like it or not because no matter what you do or what you say, you're worth no more than dirt to them.
Forgiveness, yes, i'm not angry. I'm just confused. I don't really see the relation between trust and hurt. Maybe i'm counted a friend because, i'm forever at their beck and call. Just a call for help and there you'll find me, coaxing and consoling. I feel stupid, cause i'm unable to talk myself out of stupidity. It's like this bottomless pit you can never escape from. Ever felt that something is close enough for you to taste, but you just can't put your hands on in? Despite the 14 years of searching and asking, you won't get it. Trust. This is. My parents lost it, my friends lost it. I don't know who i can trust anymore. In metaphorical terms, i just felt a thousand blades pierce through me. I don't understand what i'm waiting for. Yes, jordin sparks, one step at a time. Like how, ten years one step? Well screw it, i'd probably take 8 steps in my entire life. Everyone thinks i'm so open. Well, am i? what do you think?
Doors keep slamming shut in my face. I don't even know if i should make an effort to knock anymore. How come everyone knows who bella really is except herself? I'm getting lost in my own thoughts, my own torment. I'm going through a period of self destruction. I wish i could hibernate for ten years. Maybe when i awake, all this would come to an end.
Life's better when you're a bear.

Metrostation.

2008-08-20T20:56:00.000+08:00

OMG . I love metro station. They are soooooo OMG. I LOVE THEIR ACCENT. SHIT.
EVEN THOUGH THEIR REAL BRITISH MUTTS, I THINK THEIR HOT COS THEYL OOK SEXY WITH THEIR PIERCINGS AND THEIR SKINNIES. THEY AREN'T THOSE POSEURS MAN. THEIR TRUE TATOO ART LOVERS. BUT THEIR MUSIC ROCKS. TO ME.
SHIT METRO STATION. IM MARRYING THE GUY IN THE RED SKINNIES IN THE SONG SHAKE IN THE MV. SHIT.

Your mother la!

2008-08-19T19:38:00.004+08:00

This is real,
this is me,
i'm exactly where i'm suppose to be now.
Gonna let the light,
Shine on me.

I HATE GUYS WHO GO FOR PRETTY GIRLS. THEIR SCREWED UP IN THE HEAD. (yea right bella, you hate them. Screw yourself)

Hello. Today, my ear got really polluted by the freaking comical remarks my guy friends in class say when they get really pissed. To make it worst, each time they make a vulgar statement, i'd laugh even harder trying to pronounce whatever their saying. Like : PUNDEH (It's in tamil) Diu lei lou mou (It's in cantonese) Your mother no hair la (English, {this is for the mexicans in mexico who reads my blog}) and whatever that sounds wrong when guys say it, and sounds absolutely foreign to people's ears when i say it. It's not fair. I'm going to learn how to speak dialects fluently. But then again, chinese comes first. Sigh.
I think i'm pregnant. Hehe. Just kidding. Going for training today was a huge ass mistake. Why? Because felt nauseous all the way, and almost puked twice. I'm guessing i didn't puke cause i didn't really eat anything for lunch except a mini yam pau. So after training, i flooded my whole bus ride with nothing but sour plum back to my door step.
I hate yuling, her laughter gives me more than i can digest.(Inside Joke) And she is sick. And she farts alot. In mother tongue and in English. And i would die of boredom if she isn't in my class next year.
I got back my math CA2 results, timo is going to get jealous. One word tim, transfer. Lol , get out of SJI man. Come to GYSS! Lol. I'm gila.
My previous test i had like 18/2o yet again for graphs, :'/ and my CA2 is A2, just 70 on the dot. boohoo. I might not be as lucky next time. Roarh, but it was God who helped me go through a nearly impossible mission.
I am crazy. I keep spouting nonsense like Sek Si ah, and eh, what else? Oh and laughing at Jacob in my book cause he said "What do you call a blonde with brains" and the answer was a golden retriever. I was laughing my ass out la. Okay, i need someone to knock some serious sERIOUS sense into my sister. She thinks she can dance. Oh, i got really pissed today as in , in my brain because people are beginning to lose the reason of having a phone. They always never pick up their phone, especially in a extremely sticky situation where their presence is needed.
Hmm. Okay, i'm cracking my head real hard to think, oh im so at the verge of insulting this girl (WHO IS NOT FRM SEC 2 SO CHILL 14 YR OLD YFERS) cause she seems so desperate of getting tight with a distinct group of people. Laugh my AssHOLE out. Okay, enough said, her issues are not worth mentioning in my blog. Oh and she thinks that she's damn rich too. Dumbass. Walau , okay lets name this girl b. So when A told b that C is damn rich, b would be like , no? Im richer than C. Lol . So funny. I was laughin nut heads when she was trying to compare with my friend la. Ah this is soooo funny it tickles.

PS : BIG TIME , YOUR PHONES ARE IN YOUR POCKETS/BAG/PURSE FOR A REASON.
Pss: Stop being so oblivious you freak! (NOT TO ANY OF THE SEC 2S ONCE AGAIN)

Pfft/

2008-08-18T17:00:00.006+08:00

Everything is beautiful,
even when the tears are falling,
i don't need a miracle to believe.
even if im crashing down,
i can hear redemption calling,

Friends forNever

2008-08-17T17:30:00.008+08:00

Wooh. im a robot, havent you heard? Even robots have feelings. God help me.

What you see is what you get.

2008-08-16T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hello teens. Today was eventful. Actually, i'm quite happy(: Happy to know that you can trust no one else but your own siblings .
Oh and one more thing, im sorry i wronged you before Joanna. You're a true friend. LOL anna pong (: (Lol stands for lots of love. hha)
Woohoo. Church tomorrow(: Then? Back to mugging in the afternoon. Sigh. Science test this monday.

2008-08-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

Greetings. Oh well, Toffee arrived today, and mummy wouldn't be back till Monday to come pick our little puppy up. So many things are happening too fast and too quickly, difficult for bella to handle. Oh dear.
Ok, i think my life science teacher Mr Aslan rocks to the max. MAX. Tjc WORHHHSSS!! Lol. Okay shit, i have no idea what's up with me today and all my creepy slangs that comes up from no where. Anyway, O lvls, A lvls and EOYs are round the corner ladies and gentlemen . It's time to pull up your socks.
Oh, if i did not manage to lose weight by yesterday's training then i'm a beast. Yesterday was the hardest coreddddd training ever and it SARKED. Okay, enough said.
Next, my dog is damn cute, but sometimes it enjoys getting on my nerves. As in, i'm never peeved with my dog but it always ends up peeing near the poo poo place instead of in the poo poo place which is so wrong. And hence resulting in us having to lock her in her BIG HOME, i repeat, big home at night and she doesn't like being locked up, so then she has to keep giving us her beady eyes, and my dumb sister always keeps giving in, but no, im not. It has to be trained . I'm not being mean. And she keeps barking at night. Roarh. And she still is now. ): Poor doggy, but no, i can't go all soft on her like that. I need self control too.
On the other hand, get well soon yimin.

Judgement.

2008-08-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really don't like going to church. Why? Because people judge you. Don't deny this, i know this for a fact. I'm kind of sick of it already. I have a few people in mind, but no, i'm not going to mention their names there.
You know what? this suck. It doesn't mean that if someone is from, lets say, band, they'd totally suck at basketball. If someone is from the chess club, they won't be able to dance. If someone is from ballet, they won't be able to understand heavy metal. Yes, this kind of judgment. Ever heard of hidden talent? Or maybe not, because alot of people don't give a shit how much talent you got, but as long as you're in the club, then you can try to be one of us . Piece of crap. I'm angry. Very angry.
It's not how many years of experience you have attained, or how much awards you've gained from doing something. It's about the talent God's gifted you with and the passion you have. IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU BRING TO THE FLOOR.

When i grow up.

2008-08-13T22:30:00.002+08:00

I think the song When i grow up by Pussy cat dolls is stupid, but at the same time catchy, and that's why i like it, because it's a super bimbo song you should sing to all your friends just for the sake of annoying the poops out of them.
WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, I WANT TO BE A STAR, I WANT TO BE IN MOVIES ~~

But the line in the song is true, "be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it"

IM ANGRY

2008-08-12T22:15:00.004+08:00

OKAY, SO I DON'T CARE IF THIS BRINGS DOWN THE REPUTATION OF blah blah (blah blah is left unknown so i won't get sued), AND I REALLY DON'T CARE IF I GET SUED, BECAUSE UNLESS WHAT I STATED ARE LIES, THEN THEY HAVE NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO REPORT ME TO THE AUTHORITIES UNLESS THEIR ABLE TO JUSTIFY THESE FEW STATEMENTS WHICH IM NOT DIRECTING IT TO THEM AT ALL AND I CAN SIMPLY JUST SAY THAT THEIR MAKING ASSUMPTIONS WHICH IS TRUE SINCE NO NAMES ARE MENTIONED. ACTUALLY, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BLAH NLAH, BUT I KNOW THAT BY OPENLY EXPLOITING THE WAY MY TEACHER DOES HER SHIT, IT MIGHT BRING SOME UNWANTED ATTENTION TO OUR BLAH BLAH
OKAY, I SHALL NOT NAME MY TEACHER'S NAME, BUT I REALLY THINK THAT SHE IS REALLY IRRESPONSIBLE AND SHE DOESN'T ACT WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY. JUST LAST WEEK, SHE TOLD THE CLASS THAT WE WOULD BE HAVING A REALLY IMPORTANT EXAMINATION ON THE FOLLOWING THURSDAY, SO OF COURSE, WE WOULD HAVE OBVIOUSLY RESCHEDULED THURSDAY AND TRY OUR BEST TO FIT THE SLOT IN TO OUR BUSY LIVES OF NEVERENDING TRAUMAS AND NASTY SURPRISES, BUT OF COURSE, DUE TO HER PROBABLY UNKNOWN CASE OF BEING SENILE, IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE ON THURSDAY BUT ON WEDNESDAY, SO I FOUND OUT FROM ANOTHER TEACHER JUST 5 MINUTES AGO (DON'T ASK HOW, I HAVE MY WAYS) THAT TOMORROW IS THE ACTUAL EXAM AND THAT SHE TOLD THE CLASS WRONGLY BECAUSE THE WHOLE LEVEL WOULD BE TAKING THE EXAMINATION TOMORROW, AS IN, THIS ISN'T THE ONLY THING THAT LEAVES THE CLASS FEELING INSECURE ALL THE TIME DURING HER LESSON FOR FEAR OF HER SUDDENLY BLACKING OUT AND LOSING HER MEMORY, IT IS HER ATTITUDE SHE SO BLATANTLY DISPLAYS WITHOUT EVEN A SHEAR ACT OF CONCERN TO THE CLASS'S WELL BEING. SHE COULD HAVE AT LEAST SENT A MAIL TO THE CLASS OR PHONE OTHER TEACHERS OR THE GENERAL OFFICE TO CORRECT HERSELF, BUT NO, SHE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER.
OKAY, NEXT, THE ABOVE MENTIONED CAN BE EASILY FORGIVEN, REALLY BUT SHE HAS MISSED A SCHOOL FOR A WEEK AND A HALF, AND SHE JUST COMPLETED CHAPTER 9 OF _____, WHICH FALLS UNDER ______, AND YOU CANNOT SELF LEARN __________, ATTEMPTING TO DO IT WOULD BE MENTAL SUICIDE, AND CHAPTER TEN IS ALSO BOUT _________, AND SHE HASN'T EVEN FINISHED THE TOPIC YET, NOT EVEN HALF THE CHAPTER IS DONE, PROBABLY 2/10 OF IT IS COMPLETED, AND SHE WANTS TO GIVE A TEST BOUT IT ON THURSDAY! WHAT THE HECK? SO SHE IS FEEDING ON THE GRIEF OF OTHERS TO FEEL SATISFIED AND CONTENTED?
AND THE RELIEF TEACHER THAT'S ALWAYS SENT INTO CLASS, DOES NOT DO ANYTHING BUT GIVES US REVISION PAPERS OF CHAPTERS IRRELEVANT TO THE UPCOMING TEST, WHICH DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL! HOLY CHEESE PIE, I DONT WANT TO FAIL THIS SUBJECT AFTER I MANAGE TO GET MY GRADE TO AN A2 AGAIN, THIS IS SO UNFAIR. REALLY. I HAVE A LIFE, JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS SCREWED UP IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO SCREW THE BEAUTIFUL LIVES AROUND YOU! SELFISH LADY >;( THIS IS INFURIATING. OH, HOW MUCH I LOATHE HER.
BUT I'LL TRY TO FORGIVE, I WILL . AND I WILL TRUST IN GOD FOR MY TESTS. ROARH, THIS IS NOT FOR THE SAKE OF DEFAMING MY ____, BUT RATHER FOR THE BENEFIT OF ME BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS MY ANGER IN A MILLION WORDS. KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. I STILL LOVE MY TEACHER AND MY ______.

Penny for my thoughts.

2008-08-11T13:57:00.004+08:00

I'm left with thoughts unsettled after reading a section of the book called "what can we know about the end times?". I still recall bombarding Grace Loke with questions about the end times and about the judgment seat of christ. Wait, was it Grace? Or Hannah? Okay i can't really remember, but that's not the point. I remember asking about why we would be judged when God has already forgiven us since Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and judging us on our wrongdoings would not be bringing us to hell since we are already forgiven. The book said that there would be no punishment or penalty/price that we have to pay for christ had bore all our sins on the cross. We would be reminded of our selfish desires we decided to follow, and of our sins we never did confess,our shortcomings and failures, but we would not be sent to hell for that, but what the judgement is really for is the degree of reward we would receive in heaven, some of us might receive great loss, and others, gifts we never thought we could receive,and during judgement, each of us would be called into account and receive what is due. So scary. It is also said in the book that the primary issue would be faithfulness, (1 Cor 4:2,4). For it is already being emphasized in three our the Lord's parables : the worker in the vineyard, the talents and the 10 minas. Oh well, so scary, but yet very relieving to know that we won't be going to Hell as christians. Gosh. This is terrorizing.
Actually, how i picture the scene of judgment, is that christ would be in a room, with four white alls, and christ would be glowing, too bright for my eyes to see, and the air would be thick and intense, and i would be quivering and probably on my knees because the fragrance of god's holy presence would be too strong to withstand. Alamak, this is scary.
Moving on...
I think with the countless numbers of Junk food me and my sister bought yesterday, (CAUTION: Never take us to a grocery store, because we shop as if we're feeding a country)we are bound to grow fat. Okay, maybe not we, let me paraphrase that. I am bound to grow fatter because my sister, due to some unfair treatment God decides to bless her with has a high metabolism rate, unlike i, and thus never will increase in fatty weight. Oh well, it's good food la, so heck, i won't bother complaining.
Anyway, i need to study.

Every single day,
every word you say.
Every game you play,
every night you stay.
I'll be watching you.
Oh can't you see,
you belong to me,
my poor heart aches,
with every step you take.

Fashion

2008-08-10T16:58:00.002+08:00

Fashion is not what that looks good on others, but rather what that looks good on you.

Hmm, in times like this i know i that i can count on God.

When You could have turned Your back
And walked away from me
You picked me up instead

ordinary day.

2008-08-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

So today was just another episode of the nerve wrecking experience when you think that you're going to screw up when drumming and the world would hate you and so would god and the music won't be pleasing to his ears, but then again, those are just meaningless thoughts that won't go away but yet are not facts of truth.
So anyway, me and my sister had a heart to heart talk as always whenever we're alone and we talked about some people and how vanity can get the better of them. Yes, there's no way to deny that you're not vain cause if you're not you wouldn't be wearing clothes in the first place but rags of cloth. Aiyo, but sometimes arh, you've got to admit that the changes in people are just way too drastic, yes it's heart breaking but i guess, we all have to adapt to changes though i strongly disagree that changes are necessary, but that's another story since i'm one of a kind and someone who doesn't quite get to see the needs of it.
So anyway, me and Grace Loke were discussing the pros and cons of having an eye candy. Like you get the feeling and you grow all fuzzy inside and get so excited and start blushing that even your pimples grow red and all, which is very satisfying, but then again, we'd be putting ourselves through alot of torture and torment when we sit helplessly by our phone and check our phone every five seconds to see if it rings or not as well as the usual not seeing him/her for a second can kill kind of feeling, so yeah, we've concluded that there are more cons than pros, so say NO TO CRUSHES! It's so distracting. It also needs alot of $$ cos $$ is time! But if time has no boundaries and $$ is time, that doesn't that mean that $$ has no boundaries? Gosh, that means i'm loaded (:
I think people who see me walking on the street has a false sense of me having a rich aura cause this week i have two random people walking up to me asking me for money. One was a dollar, and the other ten cents to make a phone call. But then again, maybe it's just pure coincidence.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. So is this proverb true or false? You decicde(: Just a saying luh huh. I think it's pretty cool to know that you can talk to god anytime you want and his watching your every move you make and listening to every word you speak and every thoughts you think.
Anyway, i earnestly am looking forward to the end of this year so then i can go to the states and try a snack called twinkie, which i believe, is some super good stuff since i see it being named in movies and books .
As for now, i'll start growing fat by eating .

Can't wait.

2008-08-08T23:00:00.004+08:00

Hello, i can't wait to get be 16 and get my teeth done so i can have nicer smiles (:

I shine brighter than the stars [In my mind]

2008-08-07T16:47:00.004+08:00

Try as they may they can never define, what's been said between your heart and mine
Holla! Im becoming a nerd. Im confident in doing well for my chinese test. First time i studied for chinese alright! Well, i figured i should make an effort in my studies before it's too late! Got one chinese proverb, ehm it says, SHAO ZHUANG BU NU LI, LAO DA TU SHANG BEI ;D See, i so smart! Well done bella then. <3
Anyway, Mummy ordered breaking dawn for me via amazon.com. It's crazy okay, it's 30 us dollars, so it's total sixty sing, inclusive of shipping fee and everything. It isn't my problem Borders won't know when their next shipping of books would be coming, until i heard the sickening tragedy of my friend getting it at Kinokuniya for 20 sing bucks. I detest myself. So now, i have to wait for 5-9 working days for it to arrive and get into my pair of itching hands, while others get to read it and finish it before i can even lay my hands on that book. Oh what horrible events. Well, it better be hard cover then.
Hmm, i really think that i'm improving in my studies. I don't care bout those who thinks otherwise! I use to be failing chinese and math and science okay. Big improvement.Unlike Joel who cheats in his test. End of this year, i won't fail anything. Let me prove it to you (: I'm excelling in Geog (: Happy happy. I need to mug hard for science chapter 9 and ten. Why? Because i have science test nxt week and my science teacher has been irresponsible decided to neglect the class and take a week of our science time to have AMPLE REST. I hate her. So what do we do in that one week of slacking? Well, everyone rejoices when she wasn't going to be in school for a week but maybe i'm abnormally, but i can sense my anger and hatred growing deeper for her than ever before. I need to get a hang of my emotions. Won't do me good.
Okay, so Geog and Science test next week. Wish me luck? Okay, for me, i think last minute studying is effective. Like the day before the test studying kind of thing. But as i said, day before the test and not day before the exam, so yeah, there is a difference. For those people who think that studying a day before the exam could do you any good, well think again.
Time is scary, i'm afraid of time. It's moving way too fast. I've spent almost two years in Gyss. It's like time is fast forwarding to the future in a not so direct way. Terrifying. I don't want to make anymore screw ups. I've done too many in primary school. I really need to start getting my priorities right. I have a phobia of time. See, i told you, i was never accustomed to changes. I think i should just shift planets. A planet where everything works in a constant motion. But then again, if everything works in a constant motion, it means that everything that happens around me would be predictable, and then that would be boring. Oh dear, i guess it's earth for me then.
How many of you are scared to grow up? Raise your hand. Ah i see hands there. Oh yeah and one over there. No doubt, no denying that everyone is. I always thought that i could be young forever, not say i'm damn old now luh. I'm just but a mere 13+ year old girl who just wants to do her best in everything she does and prays hard that her mind doesn't drift mid-way. I'm starting to believe that i might not get to be a vet anymore. My mummy wants me to do mass comm in Ngee Ann. She says she can "pull strings" for me cause her good friend Aunty Jenny is the Head of department for Mass comm if i don't make it into a JC. See, she already have so little faith in me of getting into a JC. So retarded, and i'm only 13+. Not even 14 yet. She is crazy. Just cause of my sister, then she gotta start planning for me as well. This sucks. I rather lay in bed and soak up my own awesomeness every day. And breathe in the smell of air that god gives me to keep me alive.

Ring me.

2008-08-05T17:21:00.007+08:00

[edit]

I DARE all electric guitarists to play the solo of falling down by atreyu,blow by atreyu and the intro of hand of blood by bullet for my valentine, though the third song is chicken feet(to timo its chicken feet la). Yes, this includes you elisha, if you do read my blog. Dare to take up the dare?

I hate today. It sucked real bad, and i think i have a stomach flu. Tell me about it. Oh well, on a lighter note, watching The dark night on Friday(: <3 Well, that's definitely something to look forward too. Mummy's birthday is coming, i hsven't really figured out what to get for her, any suggestions?

PS:Joel thinks i'm a slut.
Pss: JOEL IS THE SLUT.

"Pulls a sad face"

2008-08-04T17:13:00.003+08:00

Screams in horror. I've too little time to do MANY MANY things! Miss Ong, our new math teacher in training would be teaching us for awhile and she is EVIL i tell you. She enjoys giving the class homework. Lots and lots and lots of homework. Although, completing it would be beneficial to no one but ourselves, we have other subjects to mug too! Chinese test and math test this week. Die. Currently, my test results are all As, but bella then, don't be too happy, it's just term 3 and you have a long way to go still!!
My class doesn't give me the motivation to study and do well and get into like some jc. Yes, i want to go into a jc. Cannot ah? Got problem ah?
Im so hazzled right now! I'm feeling so mother fruitcake cheeZZZeeee pie worried. I feel frantic. I think i'm totally going to flunk my Home Econs paper today. Dumb shit. I asked the class last week if today got test, they say don't have, then in the end? Have!! Tsk! Angry.
I have MILLION AND ONE MATHS ASSIGNMENT DUE BLOODY FREAKING TOMORROW AND I HAVE NO BREAK DAWN TO MOTIVATE ME TO CHIONG HOMEWORK !! WALAU.
NEVERMIND, i can't wait to get into THE BEST CLASS next year and wave hello to the intellectuals who can help me out in my weakests subs!! Like dumb chinese. Oh dear. Chinese test. Yikes. HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW!! AND I NEED NEW BATTERIES CAUSE MY DUMB CREATIVE DICTIONARY HAS DIED ON ME DURING CHINESE LESSON TODAY! SHYZER.
Im so angry im goin to go bathe and start snacking on some cookies i bought , i think chips more and GUAVA JUICE. I've ran out of meiji chocolate. Tear.
POOF*

It might be time for a change.

2008-08-03T18:27:00.003+08:00

I want to get a xanga. Actually, i already have two accounts, but i'm too lazy to learn the full works of it and to find out how to get the template thing going and working fine . The two accounts are normally for signing in to be able to read the xangas that are locked and that the reader has to be signed in , in order to view their posts.
Ah heck, after several attempts, i'm giving up. But blogger sucks la. They don't have pwetty pwetty emoticons and nice nice fonts. Stupid blogger. Hmph.
What is singfest all about anyway? Heard Jason Mraz is going to be there. Sweet.
Anyway, papa is crazy! He keeps asking me to take care of my skin and to put sunblock when i go out and to do this and that so that when i grow up i won't have pigmentations and my toilet won't be filled with so much biotherm skin products to protect my precious skin. I have like alot of freckles already and it's disgusting cause i can count them. I have a million and one zits on my forehead it can make eyes go blind! Aiyo, i want to have flawless baby skin again ): Boohoo.
Oh, so i didn't watch The dark night today because someone couldn't make it and we had to postpone it to friday. Bummer. I hate waiting to watch movies, especially the movies that everyone talks about and gives endless praises to the actors as well as talking bout the plot when i don't even understand a poo their talking about. I'm so gay.
Anyway, speaking of movies, i can't wait to lay my hands on Gossip girl season 2. Coming out on September 1st. I know you ladies are counting down (: Keep your fingers crossed(:
Oh oh, Twilight the movie is coming out as well.12 DECEMBER 2008. The book is out as well, as in the fourth book of the twilight series, breaking dawn. Shit im going to get it (: Here's the trailers

.

Sometimes when all you'd do is sit down and start reminiscing.

2008-08-02T20:41:00.002+08:00

MUG
PS: Sometimes i catch my mind drifting away, thinking of the things not worth the time.Thinking bout how thinking bout this kills and all i can do is think about it.

Stench

2008-08-01T16:52:00.004+08:00

My room stinks. I discovered that pungent smell just last night. When people described something which smells like death, believe them, cause there's no other words to describe it.
It smelled like something died, and just 4 mins ago, my dad said that there's a bird's nest outside my room, at the hedge there and one baby bird died, cause we could hear chirpings, and only baby birds chirped like that. It's been there for ahwile now cause every saturday their chirpings would wake me up! How inconsiderate. Lmao
Smelllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Oh yeah, i really need to wake up and start studying extra hard if i want to live on luxuries when i grow up. I mean every girl has a dream of wanting to own exorbitant items such as shoes from jimmy choos and blahnik. Handbags from balenciaga and Louise vuitton. Getting married in a valentino is a must for me and my sister(; Oh, and having night gowns from Dolce & Gabbana and wearing Armani eyewear and whatever other brands i'm too low class to think off. Yes, so i need to study hard and make $$ or i won't be able to survive this earth. Heeh(; But then again, life isn't all just about the blings. It's so much more. So, even if i want to, and its my dream, i won't fret if im unable to live with these. Cause there's so much more to this. Im off.

Maybe keeping a low profile would be for the better

Rapture

2008-07-31T20:10:00.002+08:00

Rapture was good, worth the twenty eight bucks. Kudos to Yimin and Cheryl.

I have loads of tests to study for and i have a what seem neverending pile of assignments due next week. My teachers are probably going to start killing me and phoning my parents if i don't finish it in time. Meanwhile i've got to brush up on my chinese and stop getting laughed by my chinese teachers. I said Shoe bag as xie zi bao and until now i dont even know the correct chinese words. Bummer.
Anyway, i need to work on my math cause the topic mensuration is really killing me.
Toora.

Caution

2008-07-30T23:36:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it wouldn't do you guys much harm to keep your mouths shut. Choices have consequences. Girls are sensitive, be thoughtful. Just cause i'm not part of your "funny remarks" doesn't mean i won't get victimized later.
Think about it.

kiss my yellow arse

2008-07-29T20:20:00.003+08:00

Hello this is big bird from sesame street. Bella is busy with homework and i figured i'd be a good boyfriend and blog for her.
Okay so being a big ass bird im not really familiar with how to blog. However i do know that people enjoy creating lame list and surveys. So i decided i'd conform and go with the flow, i am after all a cool bird.

LIST OF THINGS I HATE
1. Not being able to fly, thus making my wings very useless. See if they were hands at least i would be able to pick stuff up right, but their wings and i can neither fly nor pick up a spoon to have cereal. COME ON.
2. assholes who stare at me on the subway. WHAT NEVER SEE A BIG YELLOW BIRD ON THE TRAIN BEFORE AH.
3. Needing to take a shit
4. people who wear hats
5. needing to put on clothing
6. all, yes all, the colours of the rainbow
7. bald people
8. people who love to dance
9. people who hate to dance
10.people to suck at english but have blogs
11. people how rock at chinese
12. the internet
13. having to brush my teeth every morning
14. dropping that damn tooth brush
15. tooth paste that just wont come out
16. being tempted to try flying and jumping off a building only as to break every bone in my body. (happens once a week)
17.printers that run out of ink
18. you, yes you.
19. hip hop
20. jazz
21. feet
22. blues
24. punk
25. 98.7fm
26. 933fm
27. teachers
28. waking up on the wrong side of the bed
29. being bella's boyfriend
30. bella
31. the word "monsters"
32. monsters
34. small blue birds
35. not so small blue birds
36. big blue birds
37. not so small blue birds with one wing
38. your mom
39. your dad
40. your great love for bella's blog
41. bella's blog
42. people who make fun of the word bird. no it does not mean penis.
43. the phrase " you get the idea"

Yea you get the idea (GOD I HATE THIS PHRASE), so anyway this is big bird of sesame street signing off. Stay in school!

Yeah and you would know because?

2008-07-28T16:49:00.004+08:00

[Edit]
Would everyone just shut up about studying for tests and stop studying. I know im being rebellious right now but walau.. Stop it la. "Oh sorry can't talk gotta mug" Oh sorry cant got two tests tomorrow.
WHY DON YOU ALL JUST SAY"OH SORRY IM SO STUPID I'VE GOT TO STUDY COS I DIDN PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS "
Okay im sounding really bratty. Ill stop if you guys obey me though (which is just wishful thinking) well here's a demand.

I wish stewie was my lil brother.

Mrs loy didn't come to school again, so apart from grieving over an hour and twenty mins of wasted time, i spend nearly the two whole periods sleeping. I don't know why i've been so shagged recently. I know why, probably because my body has increased in weight and size massively that my knees are too weak to handle my body.
Sinking deeper ~
I think sometimes i struggle to find the real me. It's like half the time i'm busy trying to hear all the 411s and just be a bitch and gossip and do what girls do, especially shopping, but the other half of the time is spent on really trying to be a good christian and to know God better. I think i'm a cumquat. Speaking of which, i haven't gone shopping in ages, it's killing me. I haven't been to a mall in orchard in a month. Oh gosh, this is hectic. Oh, guess what? Dieting is extremely hard to accomplish especially if everyone you walk pass on the way home from school is carrying plastic bags with fries spilling out of it and tormenting your heart ever so slowly you won't even know it until you finally decide to give up and grab some fries kind of way? Yeah, but me, trying to practice the art of self control, which the bible said you should as well since it's one of the FRUITS of the spirit, i stopped my pair of feet which normally has no connection to my brain whatsoever from entering a fast food restaurant, but instead feed on fruits. I'm getting hungrier by the minute. Oh no, i'm predicting it'd take me at least two years to acclimatize not eating fried awesome food for the sake of my spare tyres.
Anyway, GIRL CRISIS, i have a major ugly outstanding zit on my forehead, it's atrocious.
Anyway i abhor the people in my school who think that defying the teacher is a darn big and cool think to do. I still don't understand how it satisfies them by going to detention and wasting hours sleeping there. I'd think it'd be better for them to be good and go home and if they have to, sleep on their bed or couch which i assume should be more comfortable then a hard vandalised plastic smelling table. But then again, the PAI KIAS apparently have a reputation to uphold, and living in an asian society, i'm pretty sure their rather face conscious as well.
Oh, it's already Monday and i'm already portraying my hatred for school on this blog that is so insignificant.
Guess what? I have truckloads of assignments to accomplish. My graph math test, which i totally, due to my idiosyncratic habit of countlessly checking and counting the lines of my graph paper. I owe it to God, or i swear i wouldn't have passed. There were three questions which initially wasn't allowed to be handed in when it wasn't even attempted but due to time constrain, i only managed to complete two graphs, so away flew my six marks which belonged to question three. So, i had to get full marks to pass both what, and true enough i got 7/7 for the first question and 5/6 for the second, so overall, i had 12/20! So amazing, I have friends who completed three questions and acquired the same results as i. Oh, and Jonathan completed all three and still failed the paper! Praise God for that though it is a lesson learned for me to be able to work with a sense of urgency.
Anyway, i've got homework collecting dust right now, so toodles.
♥☺☻ love me. ♥☺☻

Not conceited, never will be.

2008-07-27T19:33:00.003+08:00

Bullet for my valentine is so fetch. Girls, if you're looking for hot guitarists who could jam the electric guitar like nobody's business, go for timothy. Okay, i'm advertising timo with no permission granted whatsoever, so all i can do right now is pray hard that he doesn't see this statement IN BOLD.
He'll totally kick me. Anyway, i've long gotten over the Yvette-where-are-you-kill-me-now crisis because school life is bleak. So having a friend to improve it by 1% isn't really necessary. Well, music is my new best friend in school. Anyway, i know a secret that belongs to every teenage girl. Yes, every and any teenage girl. I adore secrets, their a mystery. But then again, if i tell any of you the secret, i'd have to kill you. Which exclude girls of course. Why, if you are still pondering over what i know that you don't, think hard. What every teenage girl desires to have is not exactly undeniably difficult to know. Just think of what you really want, as in literal, and not, i want my goldfish's revival. That's stupid. Of course, if you're deep enough to guess, i'm pretty sure like me, you won't bother revealing it.
On the other hand, i hate silent readers. As in not silent readers, as in "silent readers" who go around pretending they don't read your blogs but they actually do, it's like some kind of pride issue by telling you they don't read their blog. Lunatics, what can i say. Then there's people in particular, who has questions lurking in the shallow depths of their hearts waiting to be answered, but their dumb minds just won't give it a solution. Hate. Dislike. Detest. Loathe.
I think the people who created english likes to make alot of words that sounds so ironic. It's true. They probably thought it was a big joke by making LOATHE and LOVE sound the same. Imagine, a girl who wants to ditch a guy, and everytime she's on the phone when their about to hang up,
the guy would go, "i love you honey"
and the girl, " i loathe you too".
Oh yeah, i still need a shrink. I heard they could diagnose you just by interpreting your dreams. So cool. A breath of air an hour.

Think.

2008-07-26T21:43:00.002+08:00

You know it would help like ALOT, if people stopped reminding me that i've not watched batman yet, cause i'm dying to watch it.
And it would help alot as well, if i didn't have an emotional side of me, cause then, i won't have to think too much. Or so much.

The killers are awesome. I'm thinking of getting their Album. Their songs can make people cry blood man. For real. So sad.

I'm coming out of my cage
and i've been doing just fine
gotta gotta be down
because i want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss
Now im falling asleep
and she's calling a cab
while he's having a smoke
and she's taking a drag
now their going to bed
and my stomach is sick
and it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes of her dress now
Let me go.
I just can't look
it's killing me.
And taking control.
-The killers, MRBRIGHTSIDE <33333333

Flushed.

2008-07-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

I can bet a million bucks every teen, just maybe, has ever wished for their school to blow up spontaneously. I bet all teens think that high school is a certain form of jail. I can so bet a dime on it. Enough denying, cause i know every now and then when your teachers become complete assholes, you'd pray hard but not hard enough for the whole school to mysteriously blow up, leaving nothing but the ashes of your teacher. Or perhaps the person you despise alot in school.
I feel like im standing on the edge, a push, just a slight push, and i'll fall crash and just break down. No idea why i feel this way. Pressure i guess? Then again, how can i be pressured? Questions racing through my brain. I always get them during long bus rides, horrifyingly, i've always meant to answer them, but whenever the questions come, i'd just push them aside. Regular questions often includes "Why are you doing this?" and "Why are you putting up with that?" Then again, it's just silly thoughts. Thoughts that are complicated enough that scientists still cannot prove how thoughts come about. So, hence, i quote, that simplicity is actually a very complexed issue. If you disagree, you're a nut.
Then there's times where i feel the need to be there for everybody and i'm sure people out there, well everyone out there has felt it to, since everyone loves to compare how pointless their lives are and how useless they are...... I conclude that i need a makeover.
Ingredients :
1.A little bit more of love
2.A boost of confidence
3.A twist of fate.
4.A goal.
Also, i've never failed to go through a mood crisis every week. I think i need a shrink. Joel, don't go bullpooping again, that joke is stupid. Yes, i've come to realise how much i need an older sibling. Preferably a big brother, since i don't delight myself in having an Older sister. Or maybe our age gap is just too small. I don't know. At the aspect of being the youngest, I guess it's by rights that i feel loved and wanted. Yes people constantly remind me that they love me. Mum would always go, you know i love you . I wish i could just say, knowing and feeling are two different things. AS much as i know, i'd love to feel it. Yes , i feel it from God, but then what.. I mean.. Receiving love from God is the best thing, but somtimes MORTAL support would also be useful as well. Remember how i said i have an older sister i never once met? Never once heard her voice? Well i caught myself thinking of how life would've been if she was to be living with us. How contented i'd be and how i could relate to her better. Maybe, i'm just fantasizing, thinking that what i don't have is normally what i deserve to have. I'm not so sure, but don't everybody think that way as well?
Tired and deprived i may be, i know i have to keep on with life. Sometimes, i don't really know what i want. It can't be simply explained through words. Sometimes i feel like slapping my friends whenever they go "I know how their feeling" cause it's lying straight in my face. They don't unless their life scene is exactly like mine. Yes, i admit, i do envy them, but maybe, just maybe, i got to look deeper. Not into them, but more of me. Oh and my heart and mind is not connected. Sometimes i don't know which one to listen to. Poor heart, it always compromises with my mind. Furthermore, i find myself very repulsive. There's this peice of me missing, i don't know if it's the absence love or the feeling of being inferior. But sometimes, people don't understand the unique power words can contain. Some people can really be intimidating. Ohwell, why am i talkin about this. I'd just remind myself in the future of what a sad child i've been, and when i'm old, i'm pretty sure i'd be driven out of my head.

Note.

2008-07-23T20:46:00.001+08:00

The guys in my class are clearly amusing. Right Yuling? As such, i wasn't really taken aback by their statements they made about girls. Gives me the giggles to even recall what they said. They even said that some girls, SHES who must not be named, are very hairy, very smelly, very ugly and so on and so forth. Mean.
Okay, speaking of smell, I can partially remember an incident where our chinese teacher Yong lao shi, a.k.a Mr yang, said that when he's friend went to Africa, a guy told him he smelled like Grass. Gosh, see, so not only certain races gives off a pungent smell to us, we give it off and turns people of other races off as well. Well, i personally don't think any race is smelly, i just think that each race has a distinctive smell of it's own and we're just not use to it.
I think some of my friends are getting too much intense publicity in certain surroundings. In a bad way of course, and this has got to stop. There isn't even any punctuations to their endless means of grasping their evil desires which is shocking and NO THIS IS NOT A LINK TO YESTERDAY'S POST. Oh well, people, including myself, should really learn to grow up sometimes.
I think i'm still living in a world of fairytales and prince charmings. I'm quite sure somehow that that's never going to happen and fantasies are for childish losers, but i never fail to have this small glimpse of hope churning inside of me, and i tell you, the feeling kills to know that you can never have things your way and all you can do is wish for the better, not say wishing for the better can even make a difference.
Lookin back, i have been recently majoring in math which is normally said to be highly impossible for me to achieve but AH-HAH. Proved you guys wrong. Ace-ing math all the way. I wouldn't have made it this far though if Miss Chew hasn't been conducting interesting but applicable extra lessons for our class benefits. I still don't understand why our class complains so much bout an extra period of math then what we normally should be having, come on, miss chew is spending 45 mins of her time nuturing us into becoming young mathletes as well, as such, i hereby declare a statement that no one should ever forgo. Be grateful . Cause you just might regret not appreciating it one day.
Kudos to all geeks of the world. Thank your teachers.

As such

2008-07-22T20:11:00.002+08:00

I'm shocked at the audacity of what certain people can do to get the attention. Even if it includes stepping/embarrassing their friends in certain areas, resulting in selfish lies that dwells within that shallow heart of hers. Yes, i admit i am extremely mean, but well, i guess if i was going to be any slimier than i already am, her name would be mentioned here. Yes, i can bet though, that she would be more than satisfied to see her name appearing on every blog she visits and spamming comments she just have to reveal. Even stuff she THINKS is true, and denies knowing the obvious when questioned. (I can bet on it)
Oh well, it's really not your fault, since no one cares to talk about it. Yes, by right i should shower her the compassion she deserves, but wait a minute, does she even deserve any? After countless times of embarrassment and make-up sessions, i'm beginning to think that the time ~~wasted~~ spent on her was all for nothing. Perhaps a shear lack of common sense on my part for not seeing through her. Oh well. My bad. Oh well, since she's older than me, i suppose she'd never be down to earth enough to view a little kid's blog such as my own. I must say, i'm really impressed by her boldness of standing out, for the wrong things of course. Alast, the facts are that there's bound to be someone greater than you in life. But again, obnoxious people don't understand that. I'll leave her in her longed for land of prosperity. I hope she gets punched in the face in there.

Feel the heat.

2008-07-22T09:38:00.002+08:00

I want to be as hot as Hayley William, lead vocalist of Paramore.

Just look at her hair. i want it.

OLEH.

2008-07-21T18:08:00.003+08:00

GREETINGS ALL. I HAVE GOTTEN A NEW PHONE WHICH MEANS IM NOW CONTACTABLE AND AM NO MORE IN A MOURNING MOOD. KUDOS TO ME ;DDD
ALSO, IVE LOST ALL MY CONTACTS SO IF YOU TEXT ME AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE, DO FORGIVE ME.
AND NO, I BET YOURE WONDERING WHAT PHONE IM HAVING, ITS NOT THE SAME AS MY PREVIOUS ONE, NO ITS NOT SOME BORROWED OLD CHA-PA-LUNG PHONE (EVEN THOUGH IF I HAD IT , I WOULDNT RLLY MIND) AND YES MY MUM BOUGHT IT FOR ME CAUSE SHE LOVES ME AHHAA. AND IT'S A SLIDE PHONE AND IN MY OPINION BETTER THAN MY PREVIOUS PHONE BUT WEIGHS A FREAKING TON. HAPPY WONDERING .

INCONVENIENCES.

2008-07-20T18:03:00.003+08:00

Walau, i'm still darn peeved by that dumb pick pocket okay. Though it's partially my fault for being so careless, but still.. Where is his/her integrity man. Integrity, like my VP MR TAN always say, is doing the right thing when no one is looking. Alamak, but now complaining bout him on my blog doesn't really help much. So i'll just reason out how much inconveniences i'd have to go through.
1. I HAVE NO ALARM CLOCK TO WAKE ME UP EVERY MORNING (Practical)
2. WHEN I'M OUT AND ABOUT THE CITY OF SINGAPORE, MY PARENTS CAN'T CONTACT ME . (it's a good thing actually )
3. IF I SOMEHOW GET LOST IN AN ULU PLACE, NOT HAVING A PHONE WOULD BE DISABLING ME FROM CALLING A CAB.
4. WHEN IM WALKING THE DARK STREETS BACK HOME AT NIGHT, ILL HAVE NO ONE TO KEEP ME COMPANY ON THE LINE.
5. WHEN IM WALKING THE DARK STREETS BACK HOME AT NIGHT, I WON'T HAVE ANYONE TO CALL IF I GET KIDNAPPED/RAPED/SHOT/STABBED.
6. BEING A NOT SO BRILLIANT KID WITH A BAD MEMORY, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MEMORIZE MY TUITION TEACHER'S PHONE NUMBER AND HENCE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I DONT HAVE A PHONE AND WE WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE FURTHER ARRANGEMENTS FOR FOLLOW UP CLASSES.
7. NOT HAVING A PHONE SUCKS.
8. MY MUM/SISTER/FRIENDS/DAD/RELATIVES WON'T BE ABLE TO CALL/TEXT ME IF THEIR LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT OR NOT.
9. MY MUM IS NOT GETTING ME A PHONE HENCE, IM GOING TO ENTER DEPRESSION MODE.
10.NOT HAVING A PHONE CAN LEAD TO SUICIDAL THOUGHTS FOR NON CHRISTIANS . (EMOTIONAL)

Okay, i'll do what ben tagged me to do to try and get things off my mind as well as, prove ben wrong.

01. What disappoints you the most?
My stomach cause it never listens to me and get flat.

02. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
Mars. ( they didnt say it has to be on earth)

03. What's the most romantic thing that you would like to do with the one you love?
hot air balloon dinner.

04. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Nope. But i think happiness can buy money. Lol okay that didn't make sense

05. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
The death of satan for planting evil thoughts into the pick pocket's mind.

06. Do you believe you can survive without money?
No. Im dying without a phone.

07. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My salvation.

08. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Be santa claus.

09. What do you dream of doing in the future?
A vet. Or an animal trainer. Ill teach them to bite pick pokets

10. Do you know who is super junior ?
After much googling, i think their a band consisting of thirteen people? Lol.

11.What makes you happy?
Having a phone.

12.What type of person do you hate most?
People who steal phones.

13.Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
Depends on what time. If it's 5am ill be sleeping.

14.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Jesus.

15.what would i name my daughter?
(The Italian name Isabella means - A form of the name Isabel, meaning "pledged to God." Among the notable people with this name are actress Isabella Rossellini and Queen Isabella of Castile, who financed Columbus's voyage to America.)
I had no idea my name meant that, but im going to name my daughter a name that has deep meaning. Ill name her michaela. Meaning: The Hebrew name Michaela means - "Who is like the Lord?"

16. Which cartoon character you like most?
Pink panther.

17.Are you courageous enough to go and tell the person that you like he/she?
No.

18.Who do u always bully?
My dog. Lol. Well, i can't help it. It listens to me ;D

19.If you could have a superpower,what would it be?
The ability to tell the future. And see whose goin to pick pocket me.

Fool.

2008-07-19T21:14:00.003+08:00

Okay, don't bother texting/phoning me cause i've officially lost my phone. I'm pathetic. Went to East Coast Park for CG outing, and i got pick pocket-ed there. Well, there's nothing i can do. My mummy knows about it as well, and she isn't going to spent a single cent for a new phone. Hah, and it's a new phone i got it on june 1st. Oh well. She said the new sim card would be send over by monday though and told me to fret not.
I feel so foolish. I was looking forward to tomorrow, anticipating the feeling of getting on 166 for a long bus ride back home after church, till i realised that church's shifted to KCP. Heart pain. Mayhem, mayhem and more mayhem. I'm destined to suffer a crucial fate filled with remorse and disappointment. Fool.
I'm such a fool. I should learn to be satisfied with what i have.
Lol my friend just made me laugh. Her msn pm is "stop and stare. You look and look until you got no hair"
Warau, darn funny luh. Okay. I'm gila. I think im going to start saving up for a lao kok kok phone. Seven eleven sells phones right? I'm desperate.

Lets stop for a moment, and think, is what we want really what we want? Or are we using something else to delude our foolish selves?

Fatal attraction

2008-07-18T23:09:00.002+08:00

I had Napfa today. I suck la. Really bad. Don't mock me, here's the results.
Standing broad jump - 187
IPU - 27 (OMG SUCKER)
Sit and reach - 45
Sit up (34-35?)
Shuttle run (11.1)

Disgusting. I think i'm such an embarassment. I'd be doing the world justice if i didn't actually admit that im a sportswoman. Yes, but a pity i'm broadcasting it universally. Well it doesn't matter. I'm lazy to cook up excuses for my poor results stated above. Please, DO NOT MOCK ME.
Okay, i'm really tired but i have to get up tomorrow (i'm sure with MUCH EFFORT) to meet my CG at East Coast Park at ten and i have no idea how to get to my designated area. Oh gosh i think i'm hexed. Just kidding. I won't be. God's with me. Well, i'm destined to be titled a dope then. I think guys make cool friends cause their so themselves when they talk to people their familiar with which is a good thing. Well, i thought i lost weight today. NOT because i did napfa but because i felt light headed when we were all gathering at the parade square. I swear i could have melted into a pool (yes i have lots of water. NOT FATS! WATER !) and slowly evaporate. Please, the floor so literally burning, i bet it could easily fry an egg.
Singapore's weather is disgusting. It makes you sweat like crazy . Horrible.
Anyway, i want to improve in my chinese. Mainly because i want to take up a third lang (in my dreams) and if i do, i'd have to excel in both languages which is highly impossible to accomplish.
Anyway i hate doing group projects. IF you notice, their normally the main sparks of redundant arguements which would never fail to make my ears bleed and my blood boil. Well, i want to marry a comedian when i grow up. Shan't no elaborate cause reason is rather obvious. If you can't understand why, please do not hesitate to flush yourself down the toilet bowl. (And if you think that's possible, i suggest you seek counselling).
Moving on, i'm beginning to miss life in saint nicks. Everything's changing, and as i always emphasize that i'm not one who can adapt to changes, i'd guess it'd be a little hard to compromise with some of my old pals when i ever have a chance to meet them. I have bestfriends who hated boys and now are without doubt, addicted to a boy their currently together with although i am quite sure that the guys only used them to satisfy their own selfish desire. But then again? Who am i to voice out my opinions. Afterall, i'm little miss know nothing at all.
I think that guys make real good friends at this age, but they'd make a mess when their in a relationship.

OBSCENITY

Timothy tan is a retard. He say's butts has humps. And i started laughing distortingly and had disturbing thoughts about butts with humps. When i told him about the camel humps i thought about, he was actually thinking of a donkey, till he realised that he was thinking about a donkey. What a dope. I think it kills to be friends with me, cause i can totally ruin someone's mind. BUTTS HAVE HUMPS. HAHAHAHA.

Slim.

2008-07-16T22:18:00.002+08:00

I am crazy, i've made a plan to do a minimal amount of sit ups and leg raise every night so i can slim my fat tummy down. I did 100 leg raise and 55 sit ups an hour ago. Oh well, Dawei says it works wonders, so why not give it a try?
My sister is a fart at lying. She said she'd be back at by 930 and well well, look at the time.
Racial Harmony day was retarded. Two dancers fell down on stage cause they were wearing this chinese costume which had sleeves touching the ground. Ah, i don't really have the mood to blog right now, no inspiration. So i'm off. This post is to kill boredom.

- Even mums have hearts.

Playhouse;

2008-07-15T19:27:00.011+08:00

I like browsing through my photo album. Though the pages are yellow with age, it never ceased to lift my spirits when im down. Ah, but the pictures were then, and now is now. The divorced happened. And now, the photos all just lie there lifelessly, too filled with memories to be thrown away. Oh well, the ghost of the past never fails to work its way to me. ~~You~~ I can never run away from it. What sad tragedy.
Lookin back at the old times, i can still remember the months (two months) my sister and i spent in Melbourne Australia with our cousins, zhen and whuilin. We were so crazy about harry potter that all of us bought the hogwarts shirt. Even Zhen's other cousin carling and meling. Oh, btw, Whui's not in this picture (:
I'm the girl second from the left. my sissy is first from the left.
Laughing out loud is prohibited. Yeah, you see that guy? He's zhen. FAT AND IN GYMNASTICS. Well. That was six years ago. See him now and he's like this :

~~Gays~~ Girls, stop drooling.
Whui told me that when i was there (which was when i was primary two) , they brought us to watch the chamber of secrets, and in the theatre, when potter's exams got cancelled, i screamed "OMG THATS SO NOT FAIR! I WANNA GO TO THAT SCHOOL!" And everyone looked at me and laugh. Gosh man. I was a retard when i was young =P
Anyway, back to the future. I spent time with T tan (timothy tan) and B tan (benedict tan) at T tan's house. I don't know. I like calling people like that now. Like, Zee Ting, J wong, J pong, D lim. Im mad. Photos. (And in all the photos, my nose looks disgusting. IM GOING TO GET A NOSE JOB WHEN I GROW UP. Lol. jussttt kiddin.

There there . Oh, and check out my family. As in, my Dad's side.

Okay. Enough picture flooding of the day. Let's get to talking. No wait, reading. Okay, i amused myself by watching Step up two yesterday and it was good. So was Hottie and Nottie. I know, you'll all probably judge it even before watching it cause you'd think that paris hilton shows are screwed and what's not but i assure you its worth the time. To me at least. It's a little bit like nanny mcphee though. Just that it isn't a nanny. It's a friend. Frienemy. Yeah. Watch it, you'd get what i'm talking about.
Okay, so i went to Bishan stadium to check out the gymnasts (Including J wong,) and his competition wasn't going to start till four so i left around 2. Akilan was looking fine today. As was Kester. HAHAHA. What. I think their both good looking. A pity Akilan's AN ATHEIST (So i've heard) and Kester is just short. Whatever. All hwa chong guys flaws are always visible even the dumbest of the dumb or the blindest of blind (okay you can't go any blind-er than blind but you get my point) would be able to stop it. No offence. Okay, maybe im judging Hwa chong guys by a minority of what has been displayed to me. Okay, i take it back. Who am i to judge anyways (:

Overdued.

2008-07-12T23:52:00.003+08:00

I've realised that my blogging is rather inconsistent. Well, i played for worship today, and it was nerve wrecking i tell you. But yeah, i felt God's peace around me telling me to do my best, and i did. When i was playing, i felt this unexplainable feeling overwhelming me. It was good. I enjoyed myself today although i screwed up quite a bit, but yeah, i did my best and that's all that matters, right?!
Well, beads of sweat was accumalting on my palms today before i started playing. It always happens when i'm truly anxious. Hopefully, the next time i play, i won't be so nervous.
Anyway, i'm getting busier and busier every day ( that explains why the posts i've been blogging is getting super short) cause i have like tests this week and tons of homework piling up and are all still left on my shelve imcompleted, collecting dust. My chinese homework is overdued, whoopsy.
Well, i like reading. Okay that was a darn random thought, but whatever, all my posts are darn random aren't they? Ever paragraph is like a different story altogether. Oh well, that's me. Reading, although is a commonly known world wide anti social act, is healthy. Yes, it improves my english and i simply can't help but to envy writers that bears that capability of writing with such profundity. Hmph, i want to be just like them. Sounds mega high class.
Okay, i don't like weighing heavy burdens on my shoulders, and right now as im blogging, i feel pressurized to blog with interesting/hilarious contents. So i shall end my post with a quote. Quotes i've been reading has been deep.
-Taking off.

If you dance with the devil,
the devil don't change.
The devil changes you
-8MM

Elate.

2008-07-11T15:29:00.001+08:00

By the time you swear you're his shivering and sighing
And he swears his passion is infinite, undying
Lady make a not of this :
One of you is lying.
-Dorothy Parker.

Need i elaborate?

Excited.

2008-07-09T21:59:00.001+08:00

Oh. I'm nervous yes i am. Sometimes i feel so small, so worthless. Like useless. Gosh, the feeling sucks. But yeah, what to do.
I know i can't do things along, that's why i always have God. That's why he's always there for me. I can't but he can. I know how to say that, but when i really need to believe in that, i tend to find myself losing faith. Well, i'm more to being excited than nervous. Yes, i hope i won't be a hindrance to this Sat's worship team. And no, i'm going to whack the drumset. I'm tired of havin no confidence of myself.

Thinkin.

2008-07-07T15:22:00.002+08:00

Hello all. I was analysing the way non christians think. So i decided to ask my good friend, Chloe. She said, she and her friend believes that we humans, are being controlled by other people living in another dimension.
So, actually, to put it in another way, they think that their still under somebody's control. She said that she believed that someone created her, for their own pleasure. And that now that person is controlling her, causing her to feel whatever she's feeling and think whatever she's thinking. So maybe, non christians do believe that there is someone out there, up there who has a way higher status than us. What they don't understand is that, there is not many people in another dimension but one. So, maybe, just maybe, this is the reason as to why there are millions and millions of Idols created by humans, worshipped. But actually, they should sit down and think, if someone is controlling them, then it was probably that "someone" who enjoys playing with them what. Then, why would that someone want to make people they enjoy playing with a sacrifice? Like we won't kill a dog if we love it so much as a sacrifice to ourselves right. We won't destroy our one and only guitar as a sacrifice to for ourselves right. That's just utter stupidity.
Ohwell, at least i managed to get into the inside of a non christian thoughts. That's more than enough now.

Poo.

2008-07-05T12:09:00.002+08:00

Hello all. I've realised that i haven't blog in a while. I think? Anyway, this week has been bad. A rough week i guess. Oh, and i had a bad day yesterday. I don't understand why Guys have such big egos and why the weird ones are really thick skinned. Totally grosses me out.
Oh well, i'm super dry spiritually lah.. I suck. I don't feel that fire burning anymore. And i'm still missing Sec 2 camp badly. And just days before the camp i was practically fretting about the fact that i had to attend something i THOUGHT i would certainly dislike. Boo me.
I am still missing my dearly loved instructors as well. Darn it man. I'm a sucker for this kinda 3d2n camps where we won't get to see each other anymore. Hmm. And the instructors dance still never fails to light a smile on my face whenever i find myself sub consciously thinking about it. So now i go around listening to cheena songs that was played during camp to help me remember all the retarded stuff we did with our instructors. Ah we are such losers.
Yay, my helper is off to get food for my lunch. Roarh, i don't feel like going to TM anymore. I just feel like slacking at home cause i'm ever so tired. Physically and Mentally. Oh well, kudos losers, i'm goin to put a song in my blog. The one we did at camp. Darn retarded . Don't laugh .Bye

this is what friends are for

2008-07-02T23:39:00.002+08:00

my conversation with tim went like this. I told him i need cheering up. So instead i ended up insulting him. But he being a friend did this. to make me laugh.

BELLAWELLA;D says:
you are a loser.
BELLAWELLA;D says:
HAHAH
timo says:
stop it!
timo says:
you're hurting my feelings!
timo says:
:(
BELLAWELLA;D says:
im sorry skinny binny
timo says:
lol.
timo says:
shuddap you think you very fat ah
BELLAWELLA;D says:
LOL

Friends are D best!

Aches.

2008-06-30T19:54:00.002+08:00

Ah, my heart aches when i see my friends enter the pithole of stupidity. Basically, i feel extremely devastated when i see my friends smoke.
ohh dear. What happened to this group ? It was only taken 4 days ago

(;

2008-06-28T22:48:00.001+08:00

I've been smiling the entire day today. I like it. I think i expect too much out of life which is bad. Yeah i should stop expecting.
I'm DARN PROUD of all my friends who overcomed the emotional hurt they've been through. Way to go darlings.
Camp was amazing. Okay, maybe... I felt the impact on the last day. I hated it at first. But oh well(: Haha.

2008-06-23T17:02:00.002+08:00

I have not much, to offer You.
Not near what You deserve, but still I come,
Because Your cross, has placed in me my worth.
I can't explain this kind of love, I'm humbled and amazed,
That You'd come down, from heaven's heights,
And greet me face to face.
And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy,
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed.

Starfield is still awesome. Ask me for their songs. I'll gladly share them. Haha. Or why don't you just youtube it? (: Eh, but then again the sound quality won't be soo good. Oh well.
"First" day of school was a blur. I slept only for one period okay! Great accomplishment. Especially since i slept at around a twelver last night. Haha. God's blessing to have kept me alive in school. My teachers are extremely nice to me today. I have no idea why. Maybe because i was good today(: *Beams* I'm an angel!
Okay, i've got to run along and complete my homework. Sian, first day of school ready got homework. Alright. Oh and i won't be at home from wed till friday just so you know in case i'm too lazy to blog tomorrow. I'd be in leadership camp.
Here I am at Your feet,
In my brokenness, complete.

A sigh.

2008-06-22T23:15:00.003+08:00

I get all cranky when evil thoughts niggles in my mind and lingers in it for a period too long. I get upset when i dont feel loved by friends. Hahah. I'm a sucker. I know.
oh well . School tomorrow! All the best for the school go-ers. God's going to be with us tomorrow as we step into school. I'm sure of that.

A silent complain.

2008-06-22T16:57:00.002+08:00

Unquenchable songs and endless praise
A million tongues poised to sing
Could still not convey
The worth that Your name deserves
Beauty for ashes
Joy for pain
Mercy instead of my blame
Ruins me for more
I'm lost in Your presence, Lord

Does anyone know starfield? It's awesome. The lyrics are written with so much truth. Each line it's own meaning which still describes the same one mighty God. Oh well. I'm going to try my hardest not to swear. Go away Satan. I hope i serve my purpose for God on this earth.
I feel inferior in my cg, cause Dexter has brought like 18 friends down so far, and it's only half of the year. Dexter has got like don't know how many friends to accept christ. I feel so useless that i don't have that gospel sharing ability on the other hand, to draw my friends to God. Oh well, i've got to keep trying whether i like it or not. Sharing is my duty, transforming them into a christian is not. I've got to bear that in mind.